some thoughts...

how firm a foundation

2008-12-16T12:31:00.000-08:00

As much as I love some of the new worship songs I have song lately (Hillsong and all that), I love to revisit old hymns so much.

The words seem to carry so much weight for me.

They are so beautiful.

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said—
To you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
“Fear not, I am with thee, oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God, and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by My gracious, omnipotent hand.
“When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
For I will be with thee thy trouble to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
“When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not harm thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
“The soul that on Jesus doth lean for repose,
I will not, I will not, desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.”

What a firm foundation we have in Christ!

photos

2008-11-24T19:24:00.000-08:00

My roommates... we finally did a photoshoot

Sam kept telling Lydia and me to open our eyes. That's just how we smile.

Me, Lydia, Priscilla, and Allie

Sam's new place... it has limish green carpet. In every room. It looks more olive at night... it's a huge apt. (first floor of a big old house)

The bedroom

The 2nd bedroom (Sam made a cardboard box fort for Mo)

The bathroom. very small.

The sunroom. I like it.

The kitchen. We already painted it. Now it's all white (not half wood with yellow trim)

The fireplace!

The dining room. Not so much dining going on yet.

The living room. I got a real nice couch on craigslist.

We're going to have a party at Sam's after winter break and YOU are invited!

changes

2008-10-25T19:05:00.000-07:00

It's been a while again.
My life this semester has been busy. More than busy.
I wake up at 6 and I have student teaching every morning at Chesterbrook Academy
It's beginning to get to cold to ride my bike there every day.
I love it though. The kids are great. They are so young (3 yrs), so it's definitely different, but great. I wish I could post pictures of them. Just picture the cutest three year olds ever.

Anyway, the rest of my days are filled with classes and homework. It's definitely the busiest I have ever been in my life. It's been hard to keep up any sort of relationships outside of Sam and my roommates (who I see often enough that I can't help keeping up with).

Speaking of roommates, I LOVE MY HOUSE. It has been awesome to finally have a home here on campus. And it's beautiful. I will post some pictures soon. It's great to live with girls that I know are there for me when I need them. We're all really busy, but it's still great.

Some other big news is that Sam got a job in Danville, IL. It's about 30 min. from champaign-urbana. Sam will be working as a pricing analyst for KIK, a company that creates household products for companies like Proctor and Gamble, Clorox, etc.

It will be a big change, to say the least.

wow

2008-08-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

I haven't written on here in forever. I don't even know where to start. This summer I've basically been a mom for 40hrs a week to three kids who are 5, 7, and 9. I have two dogs and a blue Honda Odyssey mini-van. It's been fun but also taught me a lot about patience (and how I don't have enough). I'm sure it will be easier when I have my own kids, but some days it is just so hard. Then they will go and make me something special, tell me they love me, or give me hugs and kisses, and all the frustration I had with them is suddenly gone.
I'm actually going to miss them a lot. It's sad to think that I only have about a week left with them.

Also, as you know, Sam and I are getting married! That's sort of taken over my free time, since I've been trying to figure out a lot of details before I go back to school. Here are a couple pictures of it...
I know, it looks lame how my hand is up and stuff, but we wanted the ring to be in the picture... Also, I'm pretty sure I'm shining a flashlight on it. That was not intentional :)
That was supposed to be a heart made from candles, but it ended up being a blob. :)

I'm moving into a house with some girlfriends in a couple weeks and I'm excited. It will be nice to have our own place...

Sorry this was a lame post, but I'll get back into the swing of things soon!

ENFP

2008-05-20T07:22:00.000-07:00

So, I took the Myers Brigg test... i'm ENFP (extroverted, iNtuitive, feeling, perceiving)

read on and see if you think this sounds like me...

ENFP Strengths

• Most ENFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationships issues:

• Good communication skills

• Very perceptive about people's thought and motives

• Motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others

• Warmly affectionate and affirming

• Fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic

• Strive for "win-win" situations

• Driven to meet other's needs

• Usually loyal and dedicated

ENFP Weaknesses

• Most ENFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:

• Their enthusiasm may lead them to be unrealistic

• Uninterested in dealing with "mundane" matters such as cleaning, paying bills, etc.

• Extreme dislike of conflict

• Extreme dislike of criticism

• Don't pay attention to their own needs

• Constant quest for the perfect relationship may make them change relationships frequently

• May become bored easily

• Have difficulty scolding or punishing others

ENFPs are initiators of change who are keenly perceptive of possibilities, and who energize and stimulate through their contagious enthusiasm. They prefer the start-up phase of a project or relationship, and are tireless in the pursuit of new-found interests. ENFPs are able to anticipate the needs of others and to offer them needed help and appreciation. They bring zest, joy, liveliness, and fun to all aspects of their lives. They are at their best in situations that are fluid and changing, and that allow them to express their creativity and use their charisma.

Living

ENFP children are 'into everything.' Their natural curiosity results in children for whom questions were invented. They often spend long periods of time devising new and original --- but not necessarily practical --- languages, plays, and scenarios. Many ENFPs enjoy drawing, writing, playacting, and dreaming. They are often chosen as leaders because of their persuasive enthusiasm and their energy for new and different ways of developing things.

ENFP teenagers are agreeable, sociable, outgoing people who like to imagine themselves in the future. They spend many hours wondering and discussing with friends whom they will marry, where they will live, what their children will be like, and what work they will do. They leave no option or possibility unexplored and find it difficult to see themselves in any single job or career.

Because they see endless possibilities, to select one possibility appears to the ENFP to be too narrow a focus. They hate to be boxed into a career for life and therefore hesitate and resist making decisions. Often when a decision is made, ENFPs will still leave a number of options open or change their minds as they encounter new information.

Even in their everyday activities, ENFPs often search for the new and the novel. If there is a logical route to work and ENFP has been driving that way continually, he or she will likely tire of it and look for other routes.

Adult ENFPs maintain characteristics that might be considered youthful, such as enthusiasm, curiosity, and a zestful outlook on life. As a result, people often enjoy being with them. Many times they are young-in-spirit as they age, perhaps because of their temperament.

Learning

ENFPs often learn best through a variety of means, such as observing, reading, and listening to and interacting with others. They enjoy the search for new ideas and possibilities, and will put in the time necessary to master subjects they find interesting. One strength is their enthusiasm for the process of discovery. They enjoy survey courses, comparative studies, and disciplines in which there is much to research and explore. They do not like classes that are too structured, that consist only of lectures, and that allow no room for their imagination. They may get caught up in the learning process and consequently need strict deadlines to bring a project to completion.

ENFPs prefer a learning environment in which the teacher takes personal interest in them, in which there is an opportunity to talk about ideas with their peers, and in which there is a chance to ask questions and develop new ideas.

A motto that might describe the ENFP as a learner is "There's always another way or another answer."

Working

Most ENFPs will say they are organized, but others might not see them that way. Their desire to be open to the moment tends to outweigh their need to be organized. Usually ENFP work space is arranged haphazardly, with work materials and personal momentos scattered about. In terms of the management of time, ENFPs find it particularly difficult to estimate accurately how long an activity will take. Because people's needs are more important than schedules, ENFPs are often late and characteristically full of apologies for their tardiness.

ENFPs prefer occupations that reflect their ideals and that promote harmonious relationships with others. They tend to be attracted to occupations with a service orientation. ENFPs usually find a place in their work life for creativity. They particularly enjoy people-oriented work in which they are able to combine things in new and different ways to benefit humanity. Flexibility and autonomy are important to ENFPs, who may bolt from organizations in which this is not attainable.

Leading

ENFPs are energetic and enthusiastic leaders who are likely to take charge when a new endeavor needs a visionary spokesperson. ENFPs are values-oriented people who become champions of causes and services relating to human needs and dreams. Their leadership style is one of soliciting and recognizing others' contributions 4and of evaluating the personal needs of their followers. ENFPs are often charismatic leaders who are able to help people see the possibilities beyond themselves and their current realities. They function as catalysts.

Leisure

ENFPs often have a difficult time separating their work from their leisure. Because they like to have fun while they work and usually arrange their work lives to meet this need, the boundaries between their work and their leisure may not be as clear as they might be for some other types.

Because of their continual search for new things to experience, it is rare for ENFPs to become heavily involved in a single activity; their appetite for involvement is too great. Generally, ENFPs are on the lookout for new things and may come across what is "trendy" before others. They tend to participate early on in those new activities.

ENFPs like travel and reading because these activities open experiences of other times and places. Their reading often brings quiet and reflection time, as well as new material for their dreams. Their travels afford them opportunities to experience different people and cultures.

Loving

For ENFPs, loving is an almost constant state. They are generally involved or in love with someone or something new. ENFPs may have originated the quotation "All the world loves a lover." When falling in love, they explore all the new possibilities in the relationship, and the new person is studied in every way. The ENFP tends to idealize his or her current relationship and will often say that their current one is "the best ever."

It might be argued that each type, when first in love, resembles a garden-variety ENFP, because ENFPs normally behave like people in love. Some of the cultural cliches about falling in love - such as "Falling in love with love," "Head over heels in love," "Love is blind," "All the world loves a lover," and "Throw caution to the wind" - seem to apply to the ENFP. This same boundless affection can be showered upon friends, co-workers, and others. People often feel unconditionally loved by ENFPs, but over time many of these relationships dissipate, as in "When I'm not near the ones I love, I love the ones I'm near."

ENFPs as Friends

ENFPs are warm and sociable people who are keenly in tune with other people's feelings and perspectives. They are energetic and fun to be with. They are very affirming, and get great satisfaction from supporting and lifting up others. They are idealists who seek authenticity in their personal relationships. ENFPs are valued by their peers and confidantes as warm, supportive, giving people.

In the workplace or other casual relationship environments, the ENFP is likely to get along well with almost all other types of people. ENFPs are genuinely interested in people, and are highly perceptive about them, to the point where they're able to understand and relate to all of the personality types with relative ease. They like to see the best in others, and are likely to bring out the best in others. While they are generally accepting of most all people, ENFPs with strong Feeling preferences may have a difficult time understanding people with very strong Thinking preferences who do not respond to the ENFP's enthusiastic warmth. ENFPs will stay open-minded about what they consider a "rejection" by the Thinker, until the situation has repeated itself a few times, in which case ENFPs may shut themselves entirely against the Thinker.

ENFPs may also feel threatened by individuals with strong Judging preferences. With a tendency to take any criticism personally, ENFPs may find themselves irritated or emotional when the Judger expresses a negative opinion, believing somehow that the Judger is expressing disapproval or disappointment in the ENFP.

For close friendships, ENFPs are especially drawn to other iNtuitive Feeling types, and to other Extraverts who are also enthusiastic about life. Like the other iNtuitive Feeling types, the ENFP needs authenticity and depth in their close relationships. They're likely to have friends from all walks of life who they feel close to and care about, but will have only a few very close friends with similar ideals to their own. The ENFP also tends to value the company of iNtuitive Thinkers.

Dear Abby couldn't even answer these...

2008-04-21T09:47:00.001-07:00

Letters to Dear Abby (not printed in newspapers)

DEAR ABBY: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. These two women go everywhere together and I've One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. never seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be Lebanese? -- Curious.

DEAR ABBY: I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

DEAR ABBY: I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

DEAR ABBY: I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

DEAR ABBY: Will you please rush me the name of a reliable illegitimate doctor?

DEAR ABBY: Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

DEAR ABBY: I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?

DEAR ABBY: My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

Jose Luis & joy

2008-03-24T20:05:00.001-07:00

In 8th grade or freshman year of high school I started sponsoring Jose Luis. He was 3 or 4 years old, now he is 11!
It started as something a bunch of us were going to do as a bible study or small group, but after collecting money once or twice it just dead-ended. So my mom took him on as an additional sponsor child. I still wrote and received the letters, but just didn't pay all the money. Since then, I've started to sponsor him on my own.

It was cool to see how a Compassion program is run when I went to Ecuador this past summer. It's definitely an organization that is doing a lot of good. They care for the physical, spiritual and educational needs of the kids.
Some of the best stories are those of Compassion Sponsor children who overcome their situation and then go on to sponsor their own child someday (go to below link and look at photo essays)

http://www.compassion.com/child-advocacy/default.htm

God needs to continue to break my heart for these kids. I see poverty on tv or get a letter from world vision or something and sometimes it's just easier to turn the channel or become used to it. Lord, don't let us continue in lives that are ignorant of the brokenness in your world!

One of my favorite parts, though, is the photo essay that shows the JOY that these people share in the midst of it all.

"My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you — I, whom you have redeemed" (Psalm 71:23).

"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy" (Psalm 30:11).

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy" (Psalm 126:5).

[Said, a resident of Banda Aceh, lost all eight members of his family in the tsunami, including his parents, his wife, his two children and his siblings. In the midst of this tragedy, Said has found hope for the future in his new taxi business.]

stuff white people like

2008-03-12T13:02:00.000-07:00

Joey showed me this blog and it is hilarious

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

So much of it is true too! Check it out. Of course, it's just stereotypes but it's interesting because I had never thought twice about some of this stuff. Click on it to read more. It's updated everyday.

When is Abortion Racism?

2008-03-09T09:20:00.000-07:00

John Piper's sermon "When is Abortion Racism?"-- available in text, video and audio

I listened to this sermon today. I really want to talk about it with people because it touches on two very 'hot' topics.

Check out some excerpts from it:

"My aim is that those who abhor racism will abhor abortion—“Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good” (Romans 12:9). My aim is that abortion would be as culturally taboo as racism is. My aim is to hasten the day when being publicly pro-choice will be as reprehensible as being publicly racist. My aim is to hasten the day when declaring yourself pro-choice would be like declaring yourself a white supremacist.

My aim is that just as once even though the Supreme Court in the Dred Scott case of 1857 held that Black slaves were property without rights as free persons, yet today we view that as unthinkable; so also even though the Supreme Court in the Roe v. Wade case of 1973 did not give the unborn the rights of free persons, nevertheless the day may come when that too is viewed as unthinkable. Racism might—and often did—result in the killing of innocent humans; in our history, it often did. But abortion always results in the killing of innocent humans. Between 1882 and 1968, 3,446 Black people were lynched in America. Today more Black babies are killed by white abortionists every three days than all who were lynched in those years (Life Education and Resource Network)."

-John Piper

As you know I love Dr. Martin Luther King's message. Here is some info from his niece:

Dr. Alveda C. King is the daughter of Rev. A. D. King, Martin Luther King’s brother. She is the founder of King for America. Her uncle had a dream that she loves. Here is her own dream:

We have been fueled by the fire of “women’s rights,” so long that we have become deaf to the outcry of the real victims whose rights are being trampled upon, the babies and the mothers. . . . What about the rights of each baby who is artificially breached before coming to term in his or her mother’s womb, only to have her skull punctured, and feel, yes agonizingly “feel” the life run out of her before she takes her first breath of freedom. What about of the rights of these women who have been called to pioneer the new frontiers of the new millennium only to have their lives snuffed out before the calendar even turns?

Oh, God, what would Martin Luther King, Jr., who dreamed of having his children judged by the content of their characters do if he’d lived to see the contents of thousands of children’s skulls emptied into the bottomless caverns of the abortionists pits?

It is time for America, perhaps the most blessed nation on earth to lead the world in repentance, and in restoration of life! . . . Abortion is at the forefront of our destruction. Partial Birth Abortion is perhaps the most heinous form of this legal genocide. . . . The only healing and redemption is in the blood of Jesus, blood willingly shed so that we could stand today and cry out for the blood of the unborn that is drenching the land of our children.

. . . [Martin Luther] King [Jr.] once said, “The Negro cannot win as long as he is willing to sacrifice the lives of his children for comfort and safety.” How can the “Dream” survive if we murder the children? Every aborted baby is like a slave in the womb of his or her mother. . . . If the Dream of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. is to live, our babies must live. Our mothers must choose life. If we refuse to answer the cry of mercy from the unborn, and ignore the suffering of the mothers, then we are signing our own death warrants.

I too, like Martin Luther King, Jr., have a dream. I have a dream that the men and women, the boys and girls of America will come to our senses, and humble ourselves before God Almighty and pray for mercy, and receive His healing grace. I pray that this is the day, the hour of our deliverance. May God have mercy on us all.

-Dr. Alveda C. King

this is awful:

"Planned Parenthood is the largest abortion provider in America. They were founded by Margaret Sanger whose “Negro Project” in the 1930s was designed to reduce the births of black children Today 78% of Planned Parenthood clinics are in minority communities.

Every day 1,300 black babies are killed in America. Seven hundred Hispanic babies die every day from abortion. Call this what you will—when the slaughter has an ethnic face and the percentages are double that of the white community and the killers are almost all white, something is going on here that ought to make the lovers of racial equality and racial harmony wake up."

-John Piper

One of my friends recently got pregnant and decided to keep the baby. I'm so proud of her for making that decision although it will be hard.
I feel like this topic has arisen a lot lately and I've become much more aware of the desperate need for change!

2008-02-21T22:46:00.001-08:00

Christians
By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

happenings

2008-02-21T10:33:00.000-08:00

Things have been flying by and this is what I need to remember:
"Don't waste your life"--- but even more than that how about "don't waste your semester, your week, your day"
I'm reading through John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life with some girls on my floor. I read it freshman year and it's been good to return to it. We're trying to think of more ways we can live out Christ's love to our floor NOW. God has blessed me with putting them (the girls on my floor) here to teach me!

I'm helping out at St. John's (or should I say San Juan) Catholic church for teaching the first communion classes to spanish speaking kids. I guess I'm just assisting, since I know very little about the matter. But it's cool and I'm learning. It's part of my spanish class's community service hours (28) that we have to do this semester.

Yesterday I met my family mentor, another assignment for a special ed class I am taking. I will be getting to know and spending time with a family with a child with downs syndrome to better understand their family and how a disability effects (and in many ways does not effect) the way their family is.

AND Monday I start my student teaching placement for the semester! First grade at Carrie Busey School in Champaign. I'll be there from 8-12 every day. I met the teacher today and I'm really excited to start!

With the busyness of it all, I am realizing that I've had a mentality that this year is already over. Far from it! There are still 2 1/2 months left! I'm excited to see what God has up his sleeve.

I've been reading The Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne and I HIGHLY recommend it to anybody. He called up Mother Teresa and just up and spent a summer with her. And that's just one chapter. It's been convicting and challenging me in a lot of different things. In fact, I read half the book and then went back and re-read the first half so that I could continue to digest it.

I'm sure I'll write more later about it.

closing thoughts:

"Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other."

Romans 12:9-10

death

2008-01-23T11:15:00.000-08:00

Heath Ledger died. It was written on a lot of dry erase boards in my hallway today "RIP Heath Ledger."

The sadder thing that it made me think about is all the death that is going on that is not talked about. Like over 4,000 US soldiers and 80,000+ Iraqi deaths (30,000+ were civilians--as of March 2007).

I watched a movie called The Ground Truth. It's about the Iraq war and just a lot of stuff we don't know about. It had soldiers talking about their experiences and realization that they were killing people (a lot of people who were civilians) and then their mental struggle with it all after they came back from the war... Interesting that a lot of them are now protesting the war, and have become activists against it.
It didn't seem completely biased, but pointed out some things that I fail to think about when I think of the war. Like death. I have these romanticized ideas from Band of Brothers and stuff, but I am beginning to get a tiny picture of what the reality of war must be for some people.

watching what you drink

2008-01-20T23:05:00.000-08:00

from http://lighterfootstep.com/5-reasons-not-to-drink-bottled-water.html

Bottled water is healthy water -- right?

That's what the marketers would have us believe. Just look at the labels or the bottled water ads: deep, pristine pools of spring water; majestic alpine peaks; healthy, active people gulping down icy bottled water between biking in the park and a trip to the yoga studio.

In reality, bottled water is just water. That fact isn't stopping people from buying a lot of it. Estimates variously place worldwide bottled water sales at between $50 and $100 billion each year, with the market expanding at the startling annual rate of 7 percent.

Bottled water is big business. But in terms of sustainability, bottled water is a dry well. It's costly, wasteful, and distracts from the brass ring of public health: the construction and maintenance of safe municipal water systems.

Want some solid reasons to kick the bottled water habit? We've rounded up five to get you started.

Bottled water isn't a good value

Take, for instance, Pepsi's Aquafina or Coca-Cola's Dasani bottled water. Both are sold in 20 ounce sizes and can be purchased from vending machines alongside soft drinks -- and at the same price. Assuming you can find a $1 machine, that works out to 5 cents an ounce. These two brands are essentially filtered tap water, bottled close to their distribution point. Most municipal water costs less than one cent per gallon.

Now consider another widely-sold liquid: gasoline. It has to be pumped out of the ground in the form of crude oil, shipped to a refinery (often halfway across the world), and shipped again to your local filling station.

In the U.S., the average price per gallon is hovering around $3. There are 128 ounces in a gallon, which puts the current price of gasoline at fraction over 2 cents an ounce.

And that's why there's no shortage of companies which want to get into the business. In terms of price versus production cost, bottled water puts Big Oil to shame.

No healthier than tap water

In theory, bottled water in the United States falls under the regulatory authority of the Food and Drug Administration. In practice, about 70 percent of bottled water never crosses state lines for sale, making it exempt from FDA oversight.

On the other hand, water systems in the developed world are well-regulated. In the U.S., for instance, municipal water falls under the purview of the Environmental Protection Agency, and is regularly inspected for bacteria and toxic chemicals. Want to know how your community scores? Check out the Environmental Working Group's National Tap Water Database.

While public safety groups correctly point out that many municipal water systems are aging and there remain hundreds of chemical contaminants for which no standards have been established, there's very little empirical evidence which suggests bottled water is any cleaner or better for you than its tap equivalent.

Bottled water means garbage

Bottled water produces up to 1.5 million tons of plastic waste per year. According to Food and Water Watch [ http://www.foodandwaterwatch.org/water/bottled ], that plastic requires up to 47 million gallons of oil per year to produce. And while the plastic used to bottle beverages is of high quality and in demand by recyclers, over 80 percent of plastic bottles are simply thrown away.

That assumes empty bottles actually make it to a garbage can. Plastic waste is now at such a volume that vast eddies of current-bound plastic trash now spin endlessly in the world's major oceans. This represents a great risk to marine life, killing birds and fish which mistake our garbage for food.

Thanks to its slow decay rate, the vast majority of all plastics ever produced still exist ... somewhere.

Bottled water means less attention to public systems

Many people drink bottled water because they don't like the taste of their local tap water, or because they question its safety.

This is like running around with a slow leak in your tire, topping it off every few days rather than taking it to be patched. Only the very affluent can afford to switch their water consumption to bottled sources. Once distanced from public systems, these consumers have little incentive to support bond issues and other methods of upgrading municipal water treatment.

There's plenty of need. In California, for example, the American Society of Civil Engineers estimated the requirement of $17.5 billion in improvements to the state's drinking water infrastructure as recently as 2005. In the same year, the state lost 222 million gallons of drinkable water to leaky pipes.

The corporatization of water

In the documentary film Thirst, authors Alan Snitow and Deborah Kaufman demonstrated the rapid worldwide privatization of municipal water supplies, and the effect these purchases are having on local economies.

Water is being called the "Blue Gold" of the 21st century. Thanks to increasing urbanization and population, shifting climates, and industrial pollution, fresh water is becoming humanity's most precious resource.

Multinational corporations are stepping in to purchase groundwater and distribution rights wherever they can, and the bottled water industry is an important component in their drive to commoditize what many feel is a basic human right: the access to safe and affordable water.

What can you do?

There's a simple alternative to bottled water: buy a stainless steel thermos, and use it. Don't like the way your local tap water tastes? Inexpensive carbon filters will turn most tap water sparking fresh at a fraction of bottled water's cost.

Consider taking Food and Water Watch's No Bottled Water Pledge. Conserve water wherever possible, and stay on top of local water issues.

Want to know more? Start with the Sierra Club's fact sheet on bottled water.

Bottoms up!

why we have monday off

2008-01-18T10:47:00.001-08:00

I've been reading about him. I want to read more. I thought I'd leave a couple quotes that I liked:

Let us be dissatisfied until from every city hall, justice will roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream. Let us be dissatisfied until that day when the lion and the lamb shall lie down together, and every man will sit under his own vine and fig tree and none shall be afraid. Let us be dissatisfied. And men will recognize that out of one blood God made all men to dwell upon the face of the earth. Let us be dissatisfied until that day when nobody will shout "White Power!" — when nobody will shout "Black Power!" — but everybody will talk about God's power and human power. -MLK, Jr
On some positions, Cowardice asks the question, "Is it safe?" Expediency asks the question, "Is it politic?" And Vanity comes along and asks the question, "Is it popular?" But Conscience asks the question "Is it right?" And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must do it because Conscience tells him it is right. I believe today that there is a need for all people of good will to come together with a massive act of conscience and say in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "We ain't goin' study war no more." This is the challenge facing modern man. -MLK, Jr

Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (the day before he was assassinated)

books and politics

2008-01-11T14:04:00.000-08:00

It's been too long. Sorry folks.

Two topics: Infidel and the Election

First, I just read this book by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, called Infidel. It was really good. It's about her life growing up as a muslim woman in Somalia, Kenya and Saudi Arabia, her escape to Holland and her struggle to try to make a name for muslim women who are oppressed. Interestingly, she feels that Holland (and I'm sure parts of America and the western world in general) is too politically correct and tolerant of religions... basically she thinks that Islam is fundamentally wrong. At it's core, it believes that people are not equal, that men have the right to abuse their wives among other things. Compare this to Christianity, which is fundamentally good but often twisted to become evil. This woman has renounced Islam and isn't a christian either--but it's really interesting to me to think of how I've been lead to believe in the peacefulness and give tolerance to it, but now i realize sometimes things are just different and sometimes things are plain wrong.

Of course, not all muslims are like this...it was just a big wake up call to me and i saw that sometimes cultural difference isn't justifiable.

The election.
I'm still figuring things out, but I just heard on moody radio today about it. I guess I often dismiss Moody for being too conservative for me sometimes, but this guy had some good things to say about the election. Basically, a lot of people are voting for different people based on who they are rather than their policies, etc. This is standing out more because this election has a wide variety of people running. But, some voters are using characteristics (obama's race, hilary's gender, huckabee's religion, romney's religion, etc...) to choose their candidates. There is nothing wrong with considering this, but it should only play a part in understanding it and in the voting process. The guy on moody also mentioned how disappointed he was that one of the most experienced candidates, Richardson (served on congress, was in the president's cabinet, served as a governor, etc) dropped out so early. I'm not sure who I support yet, I guess I should decided. But, I'll tell you that it won't be based on one single factor.

happiness and joy

2007-12-04T21:42:00.000-08:00

Be joyful always, pray continually...
this is an excerpt from an URBANA article
"As you read through the Gospels you’ll see plenty of promises of joy, but none of happiness. And they are infinitely different things. Happiness comes from the Latin word hap, which means luck. Happiness is based on circumstances going well for us, things falling into place, the dice rolling luckily, our cards falling fortuitously. But what God promises us is far deeper than that.

Joy comes from knowing we are doing the right thing, from being who we were created to be and doing what we were created to do. Only the wealthy, healthy and well-fed can know happiness. But even the poverty stricken and the persecuted can know joy (Matthew 5:3, 11)."

it was good to read, something i'd been thinking about lately.

ALSO read the rest of the article, which talks about the five mirages which distract us and stop us from fulfilling the mission Jesus has set before us in this life: materialism, marriage, mortgage, minors, mediocrity. You have to read it to understand.

http://www.urbana.org/_articles.cfm?RecordId=921

I have a book I need to reread, called Dont Waste Your Life by John Piper. I read it freshman year and it really shaped me up a lot. It's highly recommended. I think I loaned it to Dave--do you still have it, Stof?

elf yourself

2007-12-02T15:56:00.001-08:00

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1142051802

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1142223856

2007-11-28T07:21:00.001-08:00

all i have to say is
no one comments anymore
and i know you are still reading this, Andrea and Marshall =)
and i'm sure others...

war

2007-11-27T08:53:00.000-08:00

"One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs,
Or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls."

(written about Kabul)

I read this book over break. It was really good, I didn't want to put it down. I highly recommend it, and I can let you borrow it after I lend it to about 4 other people.

It's interesting how much I feel that I can learn from reading something that involves characters and people, rather than just a history of the country. In fact, this book spurred me to spend time reading more about the history of Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran. It's really interesting--and sad. One of the most striking things about this book is how it helped me realize how messed up the government had been in Afghanistan-- first being overthrown by the Soviet Union's communist rule, then the mujahideen which eventually became the Taliban, then the US going in to set up a democracy. And it worked.

I'm not one that supports countries who always get involved in every country's affairs--mettling with things that should be resolved within the country--but I've also been learning that some things need to be intervened in. It seems like since Afghanistan worked, it's been ignored in the news. They choose to write about things that aren't working, or the conflict people have over the Iraq war.

I'm not informed enough about the situation to be completely anti-war or pro-war. In fact, I'm not sure anyone can take a completely radical stance on the matter, because there are a lot of things that go into it. I try to understand both sides and come up with my own ideas, and my idea/question right now is:

Yes, there have been horrible things happening in Iraq since the war. Yes, we may have gone in with some ulterior motives. Yes, we are spending money on war that we could use in other ways. BUT what would have happened if nothing was done? What would happen if no one intervened to stop Saddam and (in Afghanistan) to stop the Taliban rule? People say "Iraq for Iraqis", but was it really for them before? Idealistically, problems would resolve themselves and people would begin to realize that they need to allow freedom to people, especially women and children. But, what happens if they don't realize that?

I still feel uneasy about the Iraq war, probably because I don't understand it all and I think there is more behind it that anyone knows. And I still think war is horrible, and I wish that there could be peace in the world. But, we live in a broken, hurting, and sinful world. What do we do?

penguins

2007-11-17T08:22:00.001-08:00

they are amazing creatures.
probably one of my favorite animals.

some things I love about penguins:
they have distinct voices they recognize
they have only one partner
the dad takes care of the egg, too
they have oil glands to prepare feathers for swimming and repelling water
they have glands that remove salt from the water so it is drinkable
they huddle in huge groups to keep warm
their backs are black so they blend in with the water, their fronts are white so they blend in with sky if predator is underwater below them
the babies are in little nurseries after they are born
they slide around on their bellies to move faster than walking

I loved Happy Feet, but still have to see March of the Penguins.

abortion

2007-11-12T07:44:00.000-08:00

Instead of arguing right and wrong, (which seems to be something everyone gets really hung up on) we should seek a common cause. There is common ground between pro-life and pro-choice-- no one really WANTS abortions to happen a lot, even if they choose to allow them or not.

That's what the focus should be--preventing the need for abortions and reducing the number of them--INSTEAD of just arguing about what is right and wrong.

Check out this excerpt:

"Americans on both sides of the argument have been trapped in an endless debate. Continuing liberal and conservative politicking has failed to meaningfully address the issue. Meanwhile, the abortion rate essentially stays the same.
Many people agree that the estimated 3,500 abortions taking place in America every day are unfitting for any caring society. Significantly reducing the number of abortions in this country—ideally to zero—should be an urgent moral priority for those of us who take the sanctity of life seriously.
Aside from age (the abortion rate is highest among girls under the age of 15) the most predictable indicator of whether or not a woman will have an abortion is her income level and ethnic background.Tackling poverty, providing healthcare for all low-income women and children (especially for prenatal and postnatal care), reducing teen pregnancy by promoting abstinence and making contraceptives widely available, and increasing the child tax credit for low-income mothers and families—all represent solutions that, as part of an integrated approach, would curb unwanted pregnancies and reduce the number of abortions."

It shouldn't be a fight against right or wrong, but we need to fight for the rights of people who are placed in this position. Interestingly, many people who are against abortion do not support other things, like increasing welfare, healthcare for all, or promoting the use of contraceptives.

check out:
http://blog.beliefnet.com/godspolitics/2007/10/tackling-abortion-the-cruel-co.html
for more information

asparagus

2007-10-30T19:28:00.000-07:00

ever notice how it makes your pee smell awful?

Psalm 19
The heavens tell of the glory of God.
The skies display his marvelous craftsmanship.
Day after day they continue to speak;
night after night they make him known...
The sun lives in the heavens where God placed it.
It bursts forth like a radiant bridegroom after his wedding.

May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.

AIDS

2007-10-29T20:59:00.000-07:00

I wish I followed the news more. I made a point (about a year ago) to have BBC world news as my home page. It hardly flashes for a few seconds before I click on my google, gmail, or facebook links. I read headlines though. And sometimes those headlines catch my eye. So these ones were about AIDS and how it is affecting the world right now.

In Russia, there are a lot of kids born to mothers with AIDS, but they aren't diagnosed until they are older--a few years old. They are kept in isolation for those first few years. This is because a lot of people in Russia haven't had proper education about AIDS and they don't know that it's not contagious by just normal contact.
They also traced the AIDS virus thats most common in the USA and Europe and it dates back to Haitian immigrants in 1969.
Check out the map. Educate yourself. It's national AIDS awareness month.

ADULT AND CHILD HIV RATES IN 2006

	Living with HIV	Newly infected	Deaths from Aids
Sub-Saharan Africa	24.7m	2.8m	2.1m
South and South-East Asia	7.8m	860,000	590,000
Eastern Europe and Central Asia	1.7m	270,000	84,000
Latin America	1.7m	140,000	65,000
North America	1.4m	43,000	18,000
East Asia	750,000	100,000	43,000
Western and Central Europe	740,000	22,000	12,000
North Africa and Middle East	460,000	68,000	36,000
Caribbean	250,000	27,000	19,000
Oceania	81,000	7,100	4,000
Total	39.5m	4.3m	2.9m
Source: UNAids, all figures estimates

i'm baaaack

2007-10-22T17:05:00.000-07:00

I'm 100% better and have more energy than I have had in weeks. It's crazy.
I'm really excited for everything.
I was getting worn out on stuff, life, I'm not sure what. But I feel very revitalized now.
This weekend I went to something called CFC's revival and it was this amazing prayer and worship service that lasted like 5 hours. It was great, and it was exactly what I needed.
=)
yay

friday morning

2007-10-19T07:45:00.000-07:00

honestly, right now I feel like I can't remember a day when I wasn't feeling sick. It's funny how it gets that way after a while. It's like the week when it's been raining and overcast and you can't remember it ever being sunny out. anyway, I'm still not at 100% but hopefully am getting there. I haven't been eating much solids, and right now I really feel like biting into a huge burger or steak or something. ha. I think it's ironic that I'm the one getting sick when I actually take care of my body and get rest and don't drink or smoke...

Anyway, we've still been having fun here. We had a candy sculpture competition against all the other floors last night. We didn't win, but it was fun. We made a playground with a slide and see-saw and all that stuff.

Last night I had a friend help edit my Spanish paper. He's from Puerto Rico and he just tore it apart. I actually couldn't make all the changes he suggested because I didn't know what a bunch of the words meant.

Sam sent some beautiful flowers for our 6 month anniversary last Saturday. It was really sweet of him to arrange it ahead of time because we only get to talk every few weeks.

Spiritually things have been really hard. I can't really explain why because I'm still trying to figure it all out. I've had girls on my floor express interest in having a Bible Study, and now I just need to bring it all together and get excited about it. Apart from that, it's been hard to have accountability or just someone to talk to about stuff. I never realized how much I'd used roommates for that before, and now I have try a lot harder to get in touch with friends.

it's the weekend now!

e for environment

2007-10-08T20:53:00.000-07:00

my honors project for this semester
creating an environmentally friendly literature curriculum for a preschool classroom
anyone else as excited as me?

updates

2007-09-24T19:50:00.001-07:00

This will be mostly pictures, although there's a lot more to my life than that...
Things have been busy, as usual. I'm really excited for all that is going on right now, as usual. I started my student teaching observations last week in a 2 year old classroom. I love them already.

Here are some of the girls on my floor dressed up like nerds for the sudoku tournament at our hall... Even if we lose, at least we go out in style.

joey, awkward face intended, enjoys his birthday present from me. it just makes sense.

some of the IV girls at a picnic we had a few weeks ago. I'm planning several events for the women in IV this year.

Sam and his newest nephew, Mo. That's short for Moses.
cute face.
this is before Sam left for the distant nation of India.
speaking of India, I saw Born Into Brothels the other day. It's a documentary about children whose mothers are prostitutes in the red district of India. It's sad, but also has a lot of hope--definitely recommend it, especially to people interested in photography.

boys and girls

2007-09-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

i'm no expert on the situation, and I don't know much about foreign politics, but I find it very interesting that Benazir Bhutto has so much influence, admiration and power in Pakistan. I always think about the restrictions on women there, but here is an example of a woman who is even more powerful than many of the men in the country.

another thing about gender stereotyping... I read a very old book in my children's literature class today. It was written in the 1970s and it was called I'm Glad I'm a Boy, I'm Glad I'm a Girl.
It went a little something like this (with pictures for each sentence):

Boys can eat. Girls can cook.
Boys can make houses. Girls can keep houses.
Boys can be pilots. Girls can be stewardesses.
Boys can be doctors. Girls can be nurses.
Boys are handsome. Girls are beautiful.
Boys invent things. Girls use things boys invent.
...and so on.

very interesting, and oh so wrong.

fall

2007-09-12T15:31:00.000-07:00

i love fall.
it's my favorite season, and it's coming. there's going to be a lot of fun and busyness this fall...

i got my placement today for a daycare that i'll be doing observations at. i'm in a 2 yr old classroom, so I'm definitely going to be looking forward to that. I already spend 6 hours a week with toddlers at my work, and I love it.

i decided this week that i'm going to grow out my hair for locks of love. This means I probably won't cut it until april... crazy.

i've been thrown full force into my RA job, and I love it. the hardest part about it is that it's my job 24/7 so i find that i worry about things and act like too much of a mom sometimes. I've come up with so many ideas that I'm booked until December, basically. I'm glad that I'm really into it, but I also need to allow myself some space and work at hanging out with my friends more than I have been.

the apt/house hunt is on and I have a feeling I have no idea what I'm getting into. at least I'm getting into it with good friends.

i'll do some pics soon. we have some awesome volleyball pictures from my floor. we all wore hats.

set

2007-08-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

I'd forgotten how much I loved running, champaign at night, and just being alone for a bit.

It feels good.

God's very faithful and good in giving me what I need all the time. I'm so glad to be serving someone who is so much greater than I can even imagine.

Being back at school is getting me excited. I feel like I want to do so much this year. I started reading up about clean water and work that organizations are doing in Africa to provide clean water. I'm so into it right now, and I'm planning all this stuff I want to do to raise awareness. The passions of the month start here.

champoo banana

2007-08-15T20:56:00.000-07:00

fitting that Andrea would request an update. she's probably been looking at this every week, but alas i haven't had time til now. =)
Sam just started a blog for India, so I wanted to start updating again.

spelling out TVD, for the name of our residence hall, Taft Van Doren

rizzo, mike, cindy, rafa, cara
me, jordan, chantel, mandy, bryan

i love my staff. i think that basically covers my past week. it's been really busy, but we've had a great time together.
i'm really excited for this next year--there's a lot that i'm nervous about, because i have really high expectations for myself and what the entire staff will be doing. i have so many different ideas for programs and activities. i've been busy with bulletin boards and decorating, because residents start arriving this week!

dont know what else to say, except that i'm really excited for the next week and meeting a bunch of new people!

i'm home!

2007-07-11T16:28:00.000-07:00

call if you want to hang out, i'm too tired to call =) if you catch me on my codene high, i'm pretty tolerable to be around though...
but i'd love to see you all, esp. my loyal fans andrea and marshall.

i got an endoscopy

2007-07-09T06:48:00.000-07:00

a few nights ago, i swallowed a pill and it didn't quite go down. it started hurting more and more the next couple days and I went into the ER yesterday to find out I have 4 ulcers in my esophagus. Good news is that my uncle is a doctor and treatment is cheaper down here. Bad news is I can't eat solids for a couple weeks, and I can't even keep down liquids well. So basically, I drink two sips of a protein shake and fall asleep until I can drink it again later.
I'm just feeling tired and weak, so pray for me! Thanks, love you guys.

para sus ninos y pan de vida

2007-07-05T15:04:00.000-07:00

I’ve been helping out the last two weeks at an orphanage named For His Children (Para Sus Ninos) and a soup kitchen type place called Pan de Vida (Bread of Life)
Both of these places have been amazing to learn more about and meet people at.
For His Children was started by a couple from California about 17 years ago. They just decided to come and take in the children that were on the street or that other orphanages didn’t want (a lot of them have disabilities). It’s a really good place, definitely nothing like I’d picture when I hear the word orphanage. The kids are really well taken care of. I’ve been helping out and playing with them in the pool every morning. They do the babies in the pool with me one at a time. I’ve really fallen in love with some of the kids.
There are three age groups and three different houses for the kids. It’s all on this really great property that is pretty far away from the business of the city. It takes about an hour on buses for me to get there.
Hairo (below) is four years old and has been at the orphanage for one year. He was living on the street before that. He’s such a sweet kid.

The sad/hard thing about the orphanage is how long the adoption process is for Ecuador. It takes about 2 years to do the entire thing, and even then people from the States can only adopt Ecuadorian children with special needs. The government considers a child who’s been institutionalized for 4+ years special needs.

The next picture is of Noemi (pronounced no-amy) She’s about 1 ½ and is in the baby house. She’s really cute and so happy all the time. She’s got these great dimples, too.

It’s almost crazy how easy the kids adapt to new volunteers. They hug new people and just leap into their arms. There’s a really good full time staff, too. The kids call all the adults “tia” (aunt) or tio (uncle).
It's been an awesome time there, I definitely recommend a trip to check it out =)

The other place I've been volunteering a bit is called Pan de Vida. It's pretty close to where I live, and it's basically a soup kitchen on Sundays and Wednesdays. They have a service for the adults and kids before they give them food, so it's really cool to see how a lot of lives can be changed through this ministry to the homeless in Quito. One of the hardest and saddest parts is seeing the kids. Yesterday, I saw a boy who was about 11 taking care of his 2 year old brother, named William. They dont have parents around to my knowledge. When everyone went downstairs to get food, the boy and his brother went into the bathroom to wash his brother off. I was waiting outside the bathroom to make sure they knew where to go to get food, and when they opened it up, I realized that they had been trying to wash up because they don't have anywhere to shower. The bathroom smelled horrible, and it almost made me cry thinking about how this young boy had such a huge responsibility. Here's a picture of the younger brother, William, in the middle with the big hat on. His face is disfigured, although i dont think you can tell too much from the picture.
Check out the kid on the far left, really digging in...

Here's a picture of the meals we prepared for all the people who came (over 100)

That's all for now... I hope everyone had a good 4th of July!
I'll be home in a week!

quito

2007-06-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

what i like is:

the good weather
the colonial part of town, with lots of old churches
the mountains
panederias
the fruit
the kids
a huge lunch at 2 or 3 pm and a siesta afterwards
the general laid-back attitude

what i dont like is:

the horrible pollution from the buses and lack of emissions tests, making it the 5th most polluted city in the world
the men whispering things in spanish at me when i walk by
standing out in crowds
that things are much more dangerous here, you can't go outside alone after dark
no one rides bikes
being overcharged in taxis because i look like a tourist
the altitude + a cold + lots of hills + pollution= winded, a lot

simple

2007-06-24T16:16:00.000-07:00

I've been learning a lot here.
one of my favorite things is how things and life can be so simple and beautiful. I'm glad i don't have much here, and i see how people have so little and are happy. not just poor Ecuadorians, but traveling Europeans and missionaries who have lived here for 20 years.
the thing about living simply is that it has to be both intentional and unintentional at the same time. some people life simply or maybe do things the more environmentally friendly 'green' way for the wrong reasons. maybe because it's trendy or somewhat glamourized now...
i guess the whole thing is the motives, whether it's just more convenient to live simply (traveling a lot, or dont have money) or whether it is because God calls us to something higher than our earthly possessions. i guess the part about being intentional is to really live with mindset of what you can do for others and not just selfishly looking out for yourself. the part about being unintentional is that the mindset has to become so fixed that you dont even realize that you're doing it. i want to make living simply unintentional for me, so that i can serve God and do his will with what he's given me.
i'm not saying it's bad to have stuff, to own nice things. but i think something that is easy for me to get sucked into is the idea that the things are mine. i think that one of the greatest testimonies Christians can have is being selfless with their stuff, with their money and with their time. not careless, but selfless. i get worried about things getting broken or used or not being returned. and it's okay to want my stuff back and be cautious about it, but at the same time i need to have a giving heart and really be generous to people without expecting something in return or without only doing it for people that i like.

Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will ear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?......So do not worry, saying, "what shall we eat?" or "what shall we drink?" or "what shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly father knows you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 7:25,31-33

how is it that some of the most happy people in the world are those who can take matthew 7 literally? like some of the people in the kenyan church that is growing so much.
and i have all of those things--food, clothes, water--yet somehow do not feel completely happy because my life is cluttered with stuff and worries.
so i'm seeking his kingdom and his righteousness.

now some pictures of my adventures... i spent this week studying spanish at a school on the other side of quito. i got to travel by myself using buses and trains and being with people who speak no english. it was fun, i'm glad that i got to learn from the experience and grow in independence.
below is a picture of some friends from my spanish school. eddy (far left) and dacny (far right) are a couple from holland who sold all their stuff and their house to travel the world. they've gone to asia and africa so far. the great thing is that they dont travel very quickly so although they dont see everything, they get to know some places really well. like, they stayed in indonesia for 6 weeks. they've been traveling for 2 years now, and plan on one more in south america before going back and working for a year to start on more adventures.
below, left, is roger and jerry. they're a couple from texas who are artists and art professors. they're really a great couple who care about getting to know the people in ecuador a lot. on the right is Luis, the owner of the spanish school we were at.
this is me and carmen, my spanish profesora for the week we did one-on-ones for 4 hrs a day. sometimes i wanted to scream, but for the most part it was good.
these next two pictures are from the historic spanish colonial district of quito. this is where the Spanish first came when they settled in ecuador. the architecture is really awesome.

another exciting thing that happened was getting robbed on the bus. lucky for me i didnt have anything valuable on me. the bus was really crowded one day. we were packed like sardines. i had my bag in front of me and was holding it with one hand against my body. anyway, i found out later that someone had used a razor blade to cut into my bag on the side. i didnt notice then, and they managed to snatch my nalgene without me noticing. anyway, i'm just really glad it was only my waterbottle and that i didnt have my camera or any money on me. it was scary anyway, to find out later. i felt kind of violated and sad about it. but that's my adventure of the week.
adios muchachos.

blogging is funny because all the labels y instruciones están en español

2007-06-17T15:58:00.000-07:00

hola from Ecuador!
it's been an awesome few days thus far, and i'm excited to have a whole month here.
i'll be sharing some of my stories and memories with pictures because they are always great to see and fun, too.
i love the people here in ecuador. just like in costa rica, everyone greets eachother with a kiss on the cheek. on my flight here it seemed like everyone was talking, getting to know eachother and having fun (especially compared to the silent flight of businessmen and laptops to and from seattle). when we landed, everyone started clapping. i later learned that this is because they used to have a lot of trouble landing on such a short runway... then, as we got our bags and went up to meet people, there was hundreds of people waiting in the airport for us as we arrived. they were all cheering and stuff, it was straight out of a movie.
i'm staying with my aunt marabeth and uncle roy who have been missionaries here for over 20 years now. roy is a doctor at hospital vozandes. i got to tour it the other day, and it was really cool to see how modern and nice it is. it's a christian run hospital that does a lot of service to people in the community, even if they dont have the money to pay.
this is the mission statement of the hospital, for you spanish readers:

so, thats one of the things my aunt and uncle are involved in. another thing that they've done in the last 6 years is help start this church in this really poor area of town. at first, they would take street children into their home once a week for a meal, but then they wanted to add some spiritual food for them, too. it's really cool how things have ended up, but from that ministry there started a church called Carmen Bajo. It's in a very poor slum area, but the people are so in touch with God. we had a kid's carnival day for them on Saturday. it's sort of like a VBS or outreach day for the kids. there was a missions team from Indiana here that helped lead it. it was just awesome to be part of the day and to see so many different children become so happy to have a hot dog, jump on the big blow up slide, or have their nails painted. here's some pictures of it. alot of the children don't go to the church, but they hope to be drawing more kids from the area to the Carmen Bajo church.

only a few of the 500 kids and 100 adults who showed up. they met in a building that will become the new 'sanctuary' for the Carmen Bajo church. as you can tell from the picture, it's basically just cinder block and a roof.

some cute girls i was chatting with. it was fun painting their nails!
roy and marabeth hand out blankets to the families living in the area.

today at church i helped out with the kids sunday school. we made cards for father's day, but it was sad because a lot of the kids had fathers who left their lives when they were young, or were not part of it at all. my aunt told me that most boys have fathered a child by the age of sixteen. they're still kids themselves! besides that, we also got to open boxes from samaritan's purse for the operation christmas child program. each child received a shoebox full of christmas presents (i guess they were either 6 months early or late...) they were so happy to get the presents! i definitely want to take part in doing this at school with groups of friends or whoever wants to do it, because i've seen the other side of it, how joyful it makes the children who receive it.

sebastian. isn't he just so cute. he's holding up his favorite part of the present he got today.
she got pom-poms =) another girl got a feather boa.

here is a picture of the view from the church. i love seeing the mountains when i look out my window. Quito is in a valley, so there are mountains everywhere!

well that is just part of the last few days for me. God has been teaching me a lot through seeing my aunt and uncle serving and just seeing God's work all around here in Quito. the next few weeks will be busy, but i'll keep you updated .

one last thing is part of this book i've been reading called Visions Beyond the Veil: God's revelation to children of heaven and hell. it's about this orphanage in China and how God spoke to young children through visions. they had such clear pictures of heaven given to them, although they had really never been schooled enough in the bible to know the descriptions from Revelation. Here's a part of the book, about heaven:

Heaven was so real, so near, so wonderful, so certain, that if one of our children had died in those days the others would have envied him the privilege.
The step to heaven after death or at the coming of the Lord seemed so small and the coming of the Lord so near that it removed from our minds all mystery as to why the first disciples could sell their possessions and face persecution and death without wavering.
Our Kingdom does not belong to this world. Our citizenship is in heaven and it is from there that we await our Saviour. Our life, or work, our service, our hardships here are only brief and passing incidents on the way to the true life, the true city, in the true Kingdom that cannot be shaken.

Amen!

overdue

2007-06-12T09:16:00.000-07:00

sorry folks, it's been too long.
this entry is dedicated to andrea, who faithfully returns day after day even though i never post new stuff.

well, i've been reading a lot of books so far this summer. i really liked Tom Brokaw's The Greatest Generation, which is about people who lived through the depression and WWII. It's pretty crazy how much things have changed in the last 60 years, but their is so much that I admire about the people who are my grandparents age and seem to understand family, faithfulness, and hard-work so much better than this generation now. It's a really great book for grandpas on father's day. It an easy read and basically just a compilation of different stories, so it doesnt have to be read through all at once.
another book i read was Freakonomics, which had a lot of interesting information and was pretty entertaining.
I also read The Namesake which I liked for the story about the Indian family living in the USA but I disliked for the way it completely tried to justify and normalize affairs, divorce and uncommited relationships.
I read Rob Bell's new book Sex God, which drew a lot of parallels between sexuality and relationships/friendships with how God is throughout the Bible. I ended up really liking it a lot, although I read it quickly and have already forgotten a bit.
I have a huge pile of books that I'm bringing with to Ecuador. I might not get to read all of them, but at least I'll have some good options.

I just spent a week in Seattle visiting Sam and his family. It was really fun being out in the northwest for the first time. I got to see Olympic National Park, which has the only non-tropical rainforest in the world:the bizarre thing is seeing moss grow on evergreen trees. i loved it. the whole trip was awesome, and the northwest is a lot like what i expected it to be like. the people in seattle are so typical of what you'd imagine. lots of bikes and hippies and dredlocks. it was great.
we went to the beach one day and were exploring the driftwood piles and found this huge piece of driftwood that was an entire tree:

Holly and I at the waterfall. She's a hilarious girl. Need proof?

Anyway, I had a great time with everyone in seattle--mostly sam and holly because they're just great.

I spend a week up in Michigan for IV's Chapter Focus Week. I enjoyed being with people that I love and being challenged to grow and serve God. I love this hymn that we sang; it's words are so beautiful:

Take my life and let it be consecrated Lord, to thee.
Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of thy love.
Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for thee.

Take my voice and let me sing always, only for my king.
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from thee.
Take my silver and my gold not a might would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use every power as you choose.

Take my will and make it Thine it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart it is thine own; it shall be thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord I pour at your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be ever, only all for thee.

up at chapter focus week with cecilia and kyle:

I'm off for another adventure now-- to Ecuador for the month! I'll be at my aunt and uncles, so I'll be able to update this and send out some pictures and stuff about my adventures. Keep praying for me as I go serve and work with the children in Quito. I'm really excited and expecting a lot of growth from this trip.

sam and em

2007-05-08T19:13:00.000-07:00

two people i'm going to miss because they're graduating...

before the race. we wore hideous shirts so we'd stand out. it worked.

i'm going to miss my running buddy.

this is at sam's old house. that countertop is his favorite spot in the world.

i just love this picture, despite (maybe especially) his forlorn looking face.

2007-05-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

i woke up at 6, the campus was really peaceful outside.
i wish i was up early in the mornings more so i could enjoy it.
i finished my final at 8:37.
i couldn't resist the sunshine and quiet morning so i headed over to one of my favorite places on campus, the cemetary. it's strange to me that there would be a cemetary in the middle of our campus, but i figure it was there before the school grew.

i love going over there. it's one of the only places where i can be by myself, and even talk or sing outloud if i want to. some people think it's weird, but i think it's peaceful. i don't fear death. it saddens me, but it also reminds me of the hope that i have for something so much more.

i read this today, while sitting among hundreds of graves:

After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people, and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. And they cried out in a loud voice:

"Salvation belongs to our God,
who sits on the throne,
and to the Lamb."

All the angels were standing around the throne... they fell down on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying:

"Amen!
Praise and glory
and wisdom and thanks and honor
and power and strength
be to our God for ever and ever.
Amen!"

Revelation 7:9-12

And I thought: God is so good, and heaven will be so inconcievably wonderful.

Girls 'just felt right' murdering friend

2007-04-24T21:33:00.000-07:00

By Liza Kappelle

April 23, 2007 07:34pm

TWO teenagers who wanted to experience murder told police it "felt right" to strangle a friend and bury her body in a shallow grave beneath her West Australian home.

The 17-year-old girls, who cannot be named due to their age, today faced a sentencing hearing in Perth Children's Court after pleading guilty to murdering Eliza Jane Davis in the small coal mining town of Collie on June 18, 2006.

As the girls sat stony-faced in court today, Prosecutor Simon Stone said they had confessed that after partying with Eliza on the Saturday night they decided to kill her.

"Sunday morning me and (her) woke up, and we were just talking, and for some reason we just decided to kill her," one of the girls told police in her interview.

"We just did it because we felt like it, it is hard to explain," the other girl said.

"I knew we had wanted to kill someone before.

"We knew it was wrong, but it didn't feel wrong at all, it just felt right."

The girls planned their attack and changed into old clothes.

One of them snuck up behind Eliza as she was reading, wrapped speaker wire twice around her throat and quickly tightened it as the other held her down, trying to press a chemical soaked cloth into her mouth.

"She started not being able to get her breath, and we just kept going," one of the girls said.

"She was just yelling at us `What the f**k, what are you doing' .. `Oh you freaks, what's wrong with you psychos."

Mr Stone said they chose to strangle Eliza because one of them had to return to Perth that afternoon and they wanted a quick and "non-messy" killing.

"As our friend, we did not really want her to suffer," one told police.

"We didn't really expect to get away with it.

"We were willing to take the risk."

The girls regretted the fuss the killing caused but neither felt remorse for their dead friend, Mr Stone said.

"If she had died another way it probably would have bothered me ... but it just did not," one girl said.

The girls reported Eliza missing after they buried her and pretended to help her family look for the dead girl.

The girls turned themselves in several days later, walking into separate police stations and directing authorities to where they buried her body.

Mr Stone told the court the girls had no remorse and were holding back on the reason behind their cold-blooded, premeditated, sadistic killing.

"It is a mystery your honour, what happened."

He said the girls had discussed killing someone else and one had prepared for homicide by killing two kittens.

"Whilst together (they) will continue to pose some risk to others in custody."

Mr Stone called for sentences of life in prison.

The hearing continues tomorrow.

This is one of the sickest and saddest things I have read lately.

We live in a world that so desperately needs God.

st. louis

2007-04-16T21:58:00.000-07:00

i ran the saint louis half marathon yesterday with emily.

it was a blast, i'll put a picture up here soon enough.

we finished in 2:12, which was a few minutes better than our goal time of 2:16--this was our goal time because Ross was running alongside us for part of it and started quoting philippians 2:16--i will not run or labor for nothing.
i suppose it seems a bit corny now, but it's really cool stepping outside of the context of the race and just thinking about my actions and how they are not meaningless but have meaning only found in Christ.

the sun is shining and spring is finally here for good.

i'm pumped for summer because i bought my plane ticket for ecuador and it's official that i'm going!

i liked this movie and wanted to share.

FRANTI

2007-04-08T23:03:00.000-07:00

you can bomb the world to pieces, but you cant bomb it into peace...
-michael franti from album "everyone deserves music"

"Since 2000, he has been walking through life barefoot except, occasionally, for going on an airplane or into a restaurant when he wears flip-flops. Michael Franti feels there is a division in the world between the consumer nations who buy shoes and the nations where people make shoes but can't afford them. He initially decided to go for three days without shoes, and has done so ever since." -wikipedia

es muy interesante, no?

reasons i love rachel glancy

2007-04-02T09:14:00.000-07:00

she always smells good.

we balance each other out very well when it comes to emotions.

i could sit on her lap and fart and she wouldn't be surprised. she'd probably just do it back.

she is incredibly loyal to me. and others.

she loves God.

one time, she actually believed there were such things as left handed shovels...

she's willing to ride 140 miles on a bike with me, and doesn't slap me across the face when i start laughing about the pain and make up jokes to put on the back of our t-shirts...

she goes to bed insanely early.

she's getting married and supports my desire to elope.

she's the only one i've experience flat top breakfast with.

community - (kə-myōō'nĭ-tē) noun. a group of men or women leading a common life according to a rule

2007-04-01T18:13:00.000-07:00

Acts 2:44

...All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need...

Acts 4:32

...All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had...

i want to know what this would look like today. i want to know if it is even possible.

i've never experienced community quite like this, mostly because it is easy to be so selfishly-focused that i don't always see the needs around me.

maybe it would be easier to experience this someplace where absolute dependance was necessary for surviving... where food and shelter were not taken for granted.

seventeen

2007-04-01T18:11:00.000-07:00

All the Athenians and the foreigners who lived there spend their time doing nothing but talking about and listening to the latest ideas…

[Acts 17:21]

Sounds like college.

“The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being!’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

Therefore since we are God’s offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone—an image made by man’s design and skill. In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to all men by raising him from the dead.”

[Acts 17: 24-31]

I love this passage.

He’s too big for us to imagine, for us to capture in words or art.

spring slapped me across the face and it felt good

2007-03-11T20:03:00.000-07:00

This question was asked of me earlier this week, so I thought a bit about it and came up with a few ideas.

How would I be if I didn’t live in Pakistan?

More interested superficial things

More concerned with success

More worried about germs

More competitive spirit

More picky about food

Less independent

More typical

Less me

On to other matters...

I’m probably the least competitive person I know. I love games that are really social, but I don’t get into games that are super competitive. Maybe I just don’t see the point. I don’t really mind winning or losing—I guess everything is ‘just a game’ to me.

Personality is such an interesting thing. I took two personality tests today, and found out that I’m Type B (which I obviously knew) and ENFP on the Meyers Brigg (which means nothing until you know what it stands for). Alright, so I’m pretty down with being Type B, it’s nice to be defined as easy going, non competitive, flexible, patient and content. If the whole world was like that, however, there would be literally no progress. There would be a lot of talk and very little action. A lot of ideas, but not a lot of initiation taken. That’s why I’m so appreciative of other people—the people who are driven to do things and work hard.

The other test said I was ENFP—which is extroverted, intuitive, feeling, and perceiving.

For ENFPs the dominant quality in their lives is their attention to the outer world of possibilities; they are excited by continuous involvement in anything new, whether it be new ideas, new people, or new activities. Though ENFPs thrive on what is possible and what is new, they also experience a deep concern for people as well. Thus, they are especially interested in possibilities for people. ENFPs are typically energetic, enthusiastic people who lead spontaneous and adaptable lives.

i'm cool with that.

summer plans are looking good. 3 weddings, 1 trip to Ohio to hang out with the coolest 80 year olds i know, a possible trip to the nation's capital city, 1 week in Michigan doing a lot of learning and growing, and good looking chance of a month in Ecuador. i am excited!

G O D

2007-03-07T07:14:00.000-08:00

One of the many amazing things about God is that he is able to absolutely defy my expectations. It's as if the harder I unintentionally try to box him up, the more he proves me so wrong. He's constantly working to disprove my thoughts and doubts. Sometimes I get stuck on something, and begin to think that it's too big for God to deal with. It sounds ridiculous, because I know that he can do anything--but I was definitely having my doubts in his absolute power over some people's lives. And there He goes again, defying my expectations and breaking out of the limitations that I place Him in.

news feed

2007-03-05T21:39:00.000-08:00

things that i love

being free from my cell phone (or freedom from stuff in general...)

waking up before the alarm

mornings

perfectly sunny skies (it's always sunny in Champaign.)

good music

this weekend was a crazy blur of activities. i loved having marshall visit, celebrating unoffical in an atypical way, going to the santa concert, and celebrating emily and ross' engagement!
here's some pictures to guide you through my life right now.......unofficial st. patrick's day is a big party day here on campus--we handed out water and hot chocolate to people. it was cool to serve them in a small way without shoving anything down anyone's throat. people really responded well to it all... we gave out 800+ water bottles and 500+ hot cocoas over the course of the day.
we went bowling... this is me being artsy and taking a picture of brittany's hand. i just thought it was cool.
this is me and cindy-- a girl i will be RAing with next year--at the Santa concert. she's really great and i'm excited to get to know her better!
this is Santa--a local band that my friends mack and stan are in... we went to a show on friday night with marshall and it was really sweet.
emily (my 1/2 marathon buddy) and ross are engaged! they are so great together and i couldnt be happier for them! they're moving to texas next year for work and grad school---probably not near del rio though...

besides that i have a couple tests this week and am busy with everything.

but life is good, and God is great!

happy new year

2007-02-26T18:50:00.000-08:00

new years resolution in February?
yes.
and this is it: to appreciate those who really go unappreciated in everyday life.
i had a great talk the other day with this lady who prepares the food for all the children at the child development lab (a preschool/daycare where i work). Theresa, the woman who heads up the kitchen, was sharing with me about how hard it is to come into work everyday because she feels so looked down upon by people who work there--they really treat her badly by ignoring her or only talking to her when they are complaining about the way she does something. the interesting thing is that she has such an important and overlooked job. in fact, one day when she was sick, the boss had to come in and help out and she had no idea how to do anything in the kitchen.
there are so many people who work behind the scenes, who do the 'dirty work' of life, and are never recognized for what they do. there are so many people who are college educated, PhD and such, who fully depend on those that they scornfully look down on or neglect. Theresa is the hardest working woman I've seen--she never stops moving. She deserves to be respected and appreciated for what she does. So that's what I'm going to do: respect and appreciate her. I'm going to give her a hug every time I see her and tell her that she's doing great--because she is. But i don't want it to stop there, either. There are so many other people around me--especially janitor and food service workers here in the dorms--who also go unappreciated. Instead of just saying hello, I want to really talk with them and show them that I at least regard them as people. There are plenty of college kids on this floor who don't even make eye contact with the building workers. I just want to show them that I care and appreciate them.

i want to go somewhere this summer. how much is a plane ticket to south america?

snow days

2007-02-19T18:37:00.000-08:00

last week, we got 2 days off because of a crazy blizzard that came through here... it was really awesome. so what did we do with 48 hours of freedome? we built an igloo. the newspaper came and took a picture (nate and ryan--below) and wrote a little blurb about us!

me, lydia and jaimie in the iglooryan and nate in the tunnel (dustpan in hand for shoveling)

Here's what was in the article (read the whole thing here)

Around 10:30 p.m. Monday, several UI sophomores came across a large pile of snow off South First Street. But to them, it wasn't a pile of snow. It was a 15-foot-high, multi-tunneled igloo.
They started digging. With plastic dustpans and frisbees.
"Hey, we live in dorms! We don't have shovels!" said UI student Brittany Metka.
The group of students returned to the site around 10:45 a.m. Tuesday, and by 11:45 a.m., they cleared the second tunnel.The last time sophomore Ryan Kelley made a fort or igloo like this, he was 8 years old. "This has been a lifelong dream," he said inside the igloo, eyeing the spot where he planned to build the second story.

i thought it was pretty hilarious.

besides that, life is sweet and God is good. I went to the Black Chorus Concert last night with my RA and people on my floor. it was amazing. basically, it was this huge worship service and performances by some amazing black men and women and our black choir. it's crazy how because of the 'cultural' differences they were able to sing all their songs about Jesus and God. for some reason, i doubt that the University would sponser a white performance that did the same thing...interesting. well regardless of that, it was awesome how involved the audience was--so many people were singing and dancing and stuff. and i loved how even though the music was sort of selected ahead of time, there was so much freedom for different people to come up and sing solos and do their thing. i'm definitely not serving it justice by trying to explain it all, but it was great.

question

2007-02-07T07:23:00.000-08:00

what i want to know is this:
when i look at the weather, it will say something like "high of 7, low of -3, feels like: -23" where does this 'feels like' come from? who feels like that? just curious.

it's been really cold out. and up until this week i was riding my bike around, with frozen brakes, and the wind would just rush right through me. i guess the one good thing was making it home faster. now there's a lot of snow and it's way too cold for biking.

this winter reminds me of what it was like in grade school. last year it wasnt very cold and we didn't really get any snow, but this is the real deal.

on subdivisions

2007-01-27T09:29:00.000-08:00

i've never really liked subdivisions. they have really ridiciculous names like pleasantview ridge, or heavenly meadows. but the root of my dislike is not in the names, or the winding streets that make it harder to find houses, or that they are composed of cookie cutter houses. the reason i dont like them is in the meaning behind subdivisions. they became really popular in the 1950s along with suburbs in general. people were moving out of the city to have more family-based, safe lives away from the corruption of the city. it's definitely understandable. you want a backyard for the kids, and a nice house. there's nothing wrong with it. what i find wrong is this (sorry for rash generalizations): choosing to live in a gated, walled community to escape the realities of our world and to 'solve' the problems that society has--like hunger, poverty, crime--by creating a false sense of safety and isolating themselves from undesirable things in life--namely people unlike themselves. how can we understand or care about the needs of other people in the united states without participating the the larger society--which is suffering and hurting? we're becoming far to individualized and secluded from the world.

the crazy thing about it all is that these communities is that they probably have a lot of problems, too. they might not be outwardly known, but i know there is depression and hurt and divorce and loneliness and brokenness. they still can't escape the problems of life, because life isn't 'perfect' and it cannot be 'perfect.'
i guess what it comes down to is isolation and trying to separate ourselves from reality. i wish i could say that i don't do this, but i know i do. it's natural to want to surround myself with people who are similar to me, or with people who seem to have it 'all together.' it's natural to want to turn off the news and turn on a tv show that makes light of problems and dramatizes all these issues about relationships and ignores the issues of the world. but, thats not life. i dont want to live in a fear of reality or life or death or pain or suffering. God's got bigger and better plans that walling ourselves off from the world. instead of getting caught up with the american dream, i want to embrace life for all that it's worth. and, like esther said: 'if i perish, i perish." (4:16)

seven hundred balloons

2007-01-18T15:07:00.000-08:00

i'm excited about my classes. we've had a week so far and i can tell that i'll really like a lot of them, especially the ones that have professors who are really characters. there's nothing i enjoy more than having an entertaining prof, even if they are entirely off the wall. i'd rather have that than a boring, intellectual one. i really like my world music professor who doesnt have email and played us "louie, louie" on records the other day, and then he played 3 random instruments for us the other day--he's a character....

the other day i was walking around getting my books and i was watching people walk around. something i noticed was that everyone seemed to be frowning, or scowling. i'm sure a big part of it was that it was real cold, but it was crazy how mad everyone looked. i was trying to smile at people and have a good attitude, and then i just burst out laughing after i passed the like 20th person who had their eyebrows furrowed like they were considering how awful their life was. i actually laughed, and thought it was pretty funny. i just wanted to say "you know, life can't be that bad. it's okay."

madeleine, maura & rachel came to visit this weekend. it was cool showing them around the school and having them meet friends. the most fun part of the weekend was celebrating my next door neighbor brittany's birthday. she was gone all day shopping with her mom and we brillantly decided to fill her room with seven hundred balloons. it was crazy.

playing in the balloons

a few of the balloons in the hallway

brittany and her room!

another thing i'm excited about is the huge world map that i just bought. it almost takes up one of the walls of our room and it's really cool to look at. we're planning adventures.

madelyn mae

2007-01-12T07:52:00.000-08:00

first of all, i thought this was hilarious because i published an article about amy on wikipedia, butunfortunately it was removed about five minutes later. anyway, it looks funny to see someone's name that you know well on wikipedia....

last night i had a bout of productivity after a really slow day.
so i designed stuff for rachel and johnmark
because they need to send these out today or sometime soon...
and i had a lot of fun with it, but i dont have the
right kind of picture yet to put in there.
haha, so i used one of me and ruth
and it's pretty funny. right look, wrong people. the back is pretty sweet though,
i really like the watermark look behind the words.

and of course i wanted to include a picture of madelyn, the new addition to the hammond family. i like this one of kyler and her, and how the second i took it kyler said "can i see it? can i see the picture?" back when i was a kid, we had to wait a couple weeks for the pictures to get developed...

blue jeans & mint chocolate chip

2007-01-10T22:51:00.000-08:00

i was thinking that i need to be more disciplined in what i do or how i spend my time. maybe i'm just sick of break and need a little bit more structure to feel like i'm not just wasting my time right now, but i'm hoping to be more disciplined when i get back to school. i think that there's a big balance with all of it though--- and i dont want to become overboard about everything having to be a certain way or on time or not allowing myself freedom and fun times or anything like that--because that's a bit extreme. i do want to be more disciplined in my time and money though. and maybe by disciplined i mean balanced. all i'm saying is that i seem to waste a lot of time and money on meaningless things.

funny how God cares about the smallest most silly prayers ever. like today i was shopping for jeans-- and let me just say that i hate shopping for jeans because it seems like it takes forever to find the right ones. anyway, my jeans that i wear now are in threads, seriously all patched up and they are my favorite ever but definitely not going to last much longer. i've had them since freshman or sophmore year of high school so i guess it's way past their retirement. so i went jeans shopping today (after the begging of my mom and andrea for the past several months...) and right before i went in i asked God to help me find some jeans quickly. and i did. two excellent pairs actually, for a really good deal. i told my mom when i went home, and she said that she'd prayed too, even though it had seemed like an unimportant thing to pray about. it's funny because of course God would be able to do soemthing small like that considering everything else that he does...
and then i was reminded of this time on this backpacking trip in tennessee when we had been eating smallish meals all week and for some reason in the middle of the week we were in the van with craig-- and I was sitting in the back with andrea. we were on our way to some town to find ice cream because we were all real hungry. but, we were in the middle of nowhere and all the stores and gas stations were closed. craig told us he would drive for 5 more minutes and turn around, and me and andrea started praying that something would be open so we could get ice cream. and just when craig was about to turn the van around, we pulled into this gas station that was open and had ice cream! it's a funny story, and a really strange way to see prayer answered, but it's cool that God cares not only about all the big stuff but the little things like jeans and ice cream.

so here's what i think about weddings. they are really beautiful, and can be fun a lot of the time. but, they also seem like they become such a big deal and are so far away from the meaning behind it. it's just that everyone gets so caught up in tradition and pleasing other people that they don't even know what they want anymore. i'm helping rachel with a bunch of stuff right now, and i dont think her & johnmark's wedding has gotten out of control at all, but i've seen how others weddings have and i hope that i am able to have the most fun, casual, and refreshing party of a wedding that anyone has ever seen. because the wedding isnt about pleasing my great aunt that i hardly know. sure, i'll be considerate, but if i dont really know her why should i try to impress her. why should i try to impress anyone?

break it up

2007-01-08T16:22:00.000-08:00

This break has been a whirlwind of activities. I finally had a chance to be by myself today, something that hadn't happened in a long while... and what did i do but fall asleep for four hours. Anyway, I’m hoping to take the next few days to process things I’ve been learning and thinking about.

After Christmas, I went to Saint Louis for the Urbana conference, which was simply amazing. I want you to go right now to this link and click on video highlights, which is a short review of what the conference was all about.
I learned a lot while I was there but something that stuck out so much to me was the focus on the global church body. The church is so much bigger than what I usually imagine it to be. There was this speaker from Africa who spoke about the church and how instead of becoming so independent we need to become interdependent. Each part of the body of Christ has a specific and important role in the big picture. Some roles might seem small or insignificant, but the body could not function properly without all of the different members. It was crazy singing all these songs in Spanish, Korean, Chinese, Nigerian, and everything—but it was awesome to learn that God is a God of all nations and countries. He isn’t confined to North America, but is a God of the entire world that he made. I went into the conference knowing a lot of things, but I'd say that it really helped me believe these things to be true. Like I always knew that I’m not someone who wants to pursue the ‘american dream’ of temporary satisfaction and desire for more and more---but now I’m convinced of it. God has bigger and better plans than I can even imagine.
There’s tons more to say, but I wouldnt give it justice. One last thing that is amazing about it all is that there were 22,000 college students at this conference--from all over the world. That’s 22,000 kids giving up their winter breaks and new years to go to seminars and bible studies. And there were two other conferences in other cities at the same time, Passion and the Onething conference, which also had thousands and thousands of college kids. I’m not one who’s into numbers very much, but I think that’s pretty sweet. God’s going to use and rock this generation.

Despues de mi tiempo en saint louis, I went to Colorado for a few days with a bunch of friends. Long drive, great snowboarding. One of the days it was like I was riding on a foot of powdered sugar. I love being in the mountains so much. Funniest thing was getting caught in a snowdrift that was up past my waist. Lets just say it wasn’t too funny at the time.

One of the hardest parts about Colorado was hearing about the death of Sandy Spisiak. I was with Andrea in Colorado when we heard, and it was a tough thing to handle. I’m lucky to be roommates with an incredibly strong and brave girl. The ceremony today was a beautiful celebration of Sandy’s life. She’s relieved from the pain and suffering here and has a new and better body in heaven. One of the most beautiful things was seeing how much andrea and sandy’s lives parallel each other—in interests, activities, and appearance. It’s amazing to see how there will be a continuation of her through Andrea. Nothing more needs to be said, other than i'm glad to know Sandy's spirit is in a better place.

delbert and violet

2006-12-27T03:35:00.000-08:00

my grandparents are the richest people i know. they arent wealthy, but the both of them have something about them that many people lack. they have lived life simply, but fully. they have loved God and served him. they have raised up four children and faithfully prayed for over a dozen grandchildren. they have been faithfully married to one another for over 50 years. they have sent out their children as missionaries all over the world. they arent rich according to the standards of this world, but they are so rich in many ways that the world fails to acknowledge.

i dont know why, but i never felt close to them. maybe i was too young and thought that i had nothing in common or nothing good to say to them...but i barely even spoke with them before besides just telling them about school and stuff going on in my life. over christmas, though, i went to Ohio to spend time with my whole family over there and it was so cool to play scrabble with them and to listen to their stories.

my grandparents are basically living textbooks of american history of the 20th century. this is amazing, since i took american history this semester and have been really interested in it. anyway, i think i've only dipped into their stories slightly, there's a whole lot more to hear from them.

thats why i've decided to go visit them this summer for a week or two. i really want to spend time with them, hearing their stories and writing a lot of their stories down. i want more to remember them by than just their pictures and material items, and their stories are pretty awesome. so i'm going to write something this summer when i visit them. and i'm also going to help clean out their mess of an attic that is basically a thrift store. i'm excited.

the intersteing thing about all of this is the change in my attitude. when i got to ohio and saw them for the first time several months, i was almost shocked and i remember thinking a lot that first night about life and death and growing old. it scared me a lot to think that my body was going to become so worn and make it difficult to even walk a few blocks, much less run miles or snowboard or something. it still does scare me, but i think i learned a lot about how this is the irreversible cycle of life, something that everyone experiences. and even though my mind and body will fail me someday, it's not really me. i'm more than just a physical body. my grandparents have that figured out pretty well, and i hope i can learn more from them. i hope i can be as rich as them someday.

off to my next adventure: URBANA.

H O P E

2006-12-22T22:16:00.000-08:00

i love being home, i love babies, and i think my new favorite game might just be telephone charades.

i've also been doing a lot of thinking and i decided that the word of the year has been hope. i have confidence and purpose in my life because of God creating me and Christ living and dying for me. without that, life is meaningless. the world has no hope with God out of the picture. so many people live and die without ever finding this hope.
take this for instance: people who live their lives believing that we were made from nothing--that we were just created out of blobs of matter. can someone really believe that a human that is so capable of so much could really be made out of nothing? can a parent believe that their child is nothing more than a body? i think if i really asked those hard questions more i would find people who weren't quite so sure about themselves. or really relativistic people who believe that there is nothing more than this life (think john lennon's "imagine").... but then what is the point to life? well i think it's really well said in ecclesiastes. Solomon goes on about life is meaningless "under the sun" (which i take as meaning apart from God) for a long time, and really gets you thinking that life is pretty worthless---but the last couple verses just really point to the message of it all: that God brings meaning to life. that he is our hope.
now that i've been thinking of this word a lot this year, i just can't get it out of my head. everywhere i go i see people living their lives passionately and with purpose----or trying desperately to fill this emptiness that is never met. and when i say that i see people doing that, i know that i can really easily fall into it too, but i'm glad God is growing me and making me so much more aware of my hopelessness apart from him. it's not something i can find in new stuff or knowledge or even people. so i'm seeking him.

"those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
ISAIAH 40:31

now i'm packing up, heading out, and looking forward to the lovely land of OH-IO.

things i've been thinking

2006-12-08T12:08:00.001-08:00

i appreciate waking up to no alarm. I've been doing this for the last couple weeks. Not quite everyday, but most days. It's wonderful because i know that i get enough sleep and somehow i keep waking up at like 8 or 9 at the latest. I've been a bit more responsible (and less glamorous) about my sleeping habits lately...meaning no 5ams in the last 2 weeks. Doesnt mean i'm not having fun, though. I'm sure Andrea's been appreciating this, though, because she was concerned about my (lack of) sleep. Waking up to no alarm is amazing, because it makes me really start the day off well. I'm not angry at the alarm clock and I usually wake up to the sunshine on me. it's beautiful.

i appreciate friendships--specifically reciprocal friendships. What i mean by this is that I get frustrated sometimes when I feel like I'm putting everything into a relationship and the other person isn't putting anything into it. You know what I mean, we all have those relationships. Anyway, yeah it does sound pretty selfish because relationships are not about me AT ALL. But, I do really appreciate the friends that I have and their ability to reciprocate the friendship, even if we don't see eachother a lot or something like that. It's really cool how God has given me this gift of caring about people so much. It's hard sometimes because I might care too much about things that I shouldnt be overconcerned about, but I'm really happy to have a big heart for people. So, it's such a blessing that I've really seen the friends that I've been given and their care for me, too. I'm really appreciating the community that I've found here at school.

i'm learning to conserve. so in biology the other day we had to write down a specific thing that we were going to do to help the environment. Some examples were recycling water bottles, using less paper, riding your bike instead of driving, etc. So i was trying to think of something more original because I already do a lot of that stuff and I wrote down "Showering less every week to conserve water." I'm averaging like 4 a week, I think. Is that gross? Actually, me and Andrea have been having a lot of talks about showers lately. We were trying to remember the last time that I showered and then she said something like “I cant take a shower, I feel too clean....I don’t want to get all wet…. Fine, I guess I’ll take a shower…” I dont know what that means, because if she feels clean it makes no sense to shower. Ha, and then today I tried to convince her not to shower to save water. But, unfortunately she decided to shower anyway and said it was to spite me. I'm not sure how long I'll go on this water conservation kick. I guess a big part of it right now is just not wanting to waste time on showers. so, join in.

donating blood is really cool. maybe cool isnt the right word, but I really like doing it. Kaitlyn and I donated the other day and we wanted to have a race to see who could fill up the bag first. haha, well we didnt start at the same time but we beat out all these other guys who started way before us. Next time, we want to make a huge competition and invite a bunch of friends. anyway, I'm not sure what it is about donating blood, but it makes me feel sort of heroic or something. Did you know that lance armstrong has a resting heart rate of 32-34? thats crazy.

i think i'm settling down with a church. yeah, i know it's about time. i've been accused of going to different churches and just getting free stuff from them (not what i've been meaning to do at all...) but it's been really hard for me to pick something myself because it is such a personal decision and seems really important. anyway, i think i found one, but i'll explain more later.

i should go study.

funnay

2006-12-06T20:25:00.000-08:00

I got this in my OT class:
The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in).

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

why i eyes ya

2006-12-06T13:16:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xE35CFg-kEY

when i have a chance, i'm going to write a lot more about whats up in my life... meanwhile, spend some time on youtube

peace&allthatgoodstuff

brown paper packages tied up with string....

2006-12-04T13:22:00.000-08:00

i love my family. i always think about how it's too bad that we started getting along so much better when we all moved away. i'm so thankful for a loving family. although we usually do a lot more goofing off than anything else, i feel really close to them. you know what they say: a family that farts together stays together.

i'm going to be an RA. i just found out today. taft-van doren here i come! i'm really excited for this opportunity and can't wait to meet the other people i'll be working with. yeaaaah!

slugger

2006-12-02T09:16:00.000-08:00

My cousin Sarah and her husband Dan are in Indonesia as missionary pilots right now. This was in their house! crazy.
actually, i think i remember slugs and snails this big as a kid. we'd call them peach slugs or banana slugs--and they were the size of my hand.
then i come here and the biggest slug i've seen is less than an inch long. ha.

i love people.
seriously, there are so many awesome people that i know and i wish i had all the time in the world just to hang out with them and get to know them better.

focus

2006-11-29T13:25:00.000-08:00

It seems like my life is littered with distractions. i get so distracted sometimes that i can't even finish my thoughts. actually it can be pretty hilarious sometimes. like the other day, i was talking to some friends and i said something like "yeah, i think from every... you know, some people say i never finish my sentences." and i definitely didnt finish the sentence before that, but i hadnt even noticed until everyone was just laughing at me... ha, well i was thinking about this all the other day when i was reading psalms, because i was really begining to see that my distractions were unhealthy, especially when i'm trying to read or pray. i fittingly read this verse:

My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare.
Psalm 25:15

When I focus on him, the distractions and worries of the world fade away from me. When i seek him with my all heart, he will come near to me. when i flee the distractions and world surrounding me, they will disappear. It's still a struggle, but when I am able to focus on the Lord instead of my daily life I am so much more moldable and teachable.

turn your eyes upon Jesus

look full in his wonderful face

and the things of earth will grow strangely dim

in the light of his glory and grace.

emo

2006-11-14T07:51:00.000-08:00

Nothing feels worse than going to bed angry, but I did. I can't even figure out what I was mad about. But, waking up and feeling way better rested is a good thing. And I woke up to a text from my best friend saying "I love and miss you!" then went to the bathroom and read a note on our encouragement("say something nice") bulletin board that said "Rachel is always smiling and has positive energy" and I smiled and felt bad for feeling angry. Then the anger just dissolved. I live off of encouragement like that. It's so reaffirming.

light

2006-11-13T19:10:00.000-08:00

I was reading Isaiah today, and was powerfully moved by these verses concerning light and darkness. It's an amazing way of looking at the message and our lack of understanding without God in the picture.
Isaiah 8:20-22
"If they do not speak according to this word, they have no light of dawn. Distressed and hungry, they will roam through the land...they will look toward the earth and see only distress and darkness and fearful gloom, and they will be thrust into utter darkness.
That verse speaks about confusion and suffering without the 'light of dawn.' A few verses later comes:
Isaiah 9:2
The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.
They see and understand God who is revealed to them, leading them away from their meaningless and gloomy lives. It's a prophecy of the coming of Christ.
Then, in John 1:5, is a description of Christ coming and not being recognized by the people here on earth.
The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.
Then comes Peter, speaking of their inheritance and clearly claiming Christ as the wonderful light that pulled them from the darkness of their lives.
1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

I can't really explain how all of the verses I read today pointed so clearly to it, but it has helped me understand better how amazing it is that Christ came into such a dark and foul world to save me, to reveal his light--the light of dawn--to me. The word light represents to me hope, purity and clarity or understanding, which are all found in Christ.
I love seeing how the whole Bible ties together, how the old testament gives the new testament such a different and more complete meaning.

four thousand words

2006-11-12T09:14:00.000-08:00

learning

2006-11-02T11:34:00.000-08:00

Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

I've been learning a lot lately. Hard to express it all in words, but I'm being humbled and broken by God in the most necessary ways. So much of the time I try to do everything myself. I'm too proud to ask for help or admit that I'm incapable of doing it alone. I try to accomplish things that only God can do. And of course I fall short, become frustrated and feel so inadequate. I had these expectations of how things will turn out, especially with small group and stuff, and it's been compeletely different than I'd imagined. I have really easily taken it personally, and felt that I've failed at creating this community in my dorm. Although I don't understand how it all fits into God's plan, I know that it does. He's showing me how much I have to depend on Him day by day. I was talking to a friend last night, expressing all these feelings and just what I am learning and stuggling to understand, and he said that it was strange for him to see me in a state of frustration and brokeness, he was finally seeing me as 'human.' So much of the time I put up this front that it's all okay, that we are sinful and wounded, but by God's grace made complete and restored. True, we are. He has an amazingly unbelivable grace that we are unable to even understand. But, there is still brokeness and wounds that resurface every day that we have to give to God to heal. I think a huge part of this healing is by being vulnerable, real and exposing our inadequacies to eachother. Why do I struggle with that? Pride.
I sometimes feel that I have to be a certain way... people have always told me that I'm stable, consistant, reliable, all those things you'd use to describe a mini-van or something, so it hurts me so much to reveal that I fall short of what I am expected to be. Its easy for me, and others, to define ourselves by our qualitites or activities rather than by Christ in us. Apart from Him, I am nothing, can do nothing.
Two weeks ago, I was feeling really spiritually foggy. I was tried, distracted, and couldnt even express what was going on. I spent some time in prayer and formulated a list of things that I felt were serving as a barrier between me and God. I hadnt thought about it too much, until yesterday when I saw the list and realized that God had truly worked to break down those things, reveal how I needed to change. So much of the time I look for answers to prayer and am far to blind to see them.

MLKjr

2006-10-18T00:42:00.000-07:00

There are some who still find the cross a stumbling block, and others consider it foolishness, but I am more convinced than ever before that it is the power of God unto individual and social salvation. ... The suffering and agonizing moments through which I have passed over the past few years have also drawn me closer to God. More than ever before I am convinced of the reality of a personal God.

- Martin Luther King Jr.

i think a lot about how i'd love to have been around to hear this man give a speech.

con pasión

2006-10-01T23:13:00.000-07:00

I love people who live their lives with passion. If there is a question that I can ask someone to really get to know them, I’d ask “what are you passionate about in life?” I ask myself this question a lot. My core passions are really consistent, but I have certain things that change with the wind it seems. Like I’ll get really into this one country or social issue and have to tell everyone about it. Remember “loose change” or my hard core recycling phase? Haha. Anyway, that’s what makes me myself. What I’m really passionate about is people and Christ. And loving both of those passions. FYI Right now I’m big on educational reform, progressivism, and women’s fellowship in IV.

I’ve spent a lot of time in reflection lately, seeking direction for my life. Something cool that I’ve realized is that God will totally open and close doors as he sees the need to do so. I’m just pursuing what I think his will is and I’ll let him show me the rest. Two of these things are applying to be an RA and applying to the school of early childhood education.

Another thing I was thinking about lately is how my attitude has been. For some reason, I’ve easily gotten discouraged, frustrated and negative about different things that are going on right now. Anyway, I developed the policy of ‘unconditional optimism’ which is more of a joke than anything—it’s crazily impractical, but I’m idealistic… well, I like to make fun of it, but I’ve been trying to honestly improve my way of looking at things. And I was reading in Philippians today about how our “attitudes should be the same as Christ Jesus.” I have a feeling that although Jesus wasn’t always super happy and necessarily optimistic about everything (he had a good range of emotions) he also was able to really have a good perspective and outlook on different situations. I’m striving for that.

Peace up, A-town down.

indian elephants

2006-09-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

i had a dream, influenced by benadryl, earlier this week that i was an elephant in London trying to get away from an evil master. Let's just say it involved a pimped out purple car that had hydraulics to jump over fences, and i could talk, and i ended up wanting to go to Africa, but found a beach in Kentucky (?) where i stayed with this nice family. Brittany has a dream dictionary, but basically all we could find out was that elephants are good luck and purple means good fortune or something lame and general like that.

i went dancing at this indian thing last night and it was really fun. i think that so much of the time dancing isnt too fun because it's really easy to worry what other people think all the time. but, me and lydia and jana went to this thing and we all felt so free to do whatever we wanted. indian culture is really rich. i appreciate it a lot.

americano

2006-09-11T22:25:00.000-07:00

ha, i should be doing reading for class.
anyway, today was september 11 and i was thinking about patriotism. for a while, in the last year or so, i felt like i didnt want to be American. i thought of all the negative connotations that come with being American--an ethnocentric, white, money-hungry, conservative, imperialistic, dominating nation that a lot of the world hates. we try to fix problems with the rest of the world, yet we still have lots of problems here. we have people suffering, starving, not getting education... so i was being a hater about it all, all negative and i wanted to start my own country. i know (a limited amount) about other countries and governments, and none of it is perfect. i think sweden and some places seem interesting---socialism?-- but i know that they arent perfect either. nothing can be perfect here on earth because man is selfish and sinful by nature. i'd have to start my own country and take applications, and only let in selfless and good-hearted indiviudals. population zero. i couldnt even live there. ha. so i guess my main point is that i'm realizing more and more that i shouldnt be against American at all. I dont think i was ever really against it, but of course i dont agree with everything that we do or say as Americans (but I'm a Christian and i dont believe in everything that christians do or say; i'm a U of I student and I dont believe in everything that other students or the U of I stands for). but I'm not too good to be American, I'm not above that. I'm really lucky to have what I have here--freedom, weath, opportunity, education, ability to travel, freedom of religion and thought and speech. I can get caught up with silly policies, but I'm really acutally happy to be here right now. There may be corruption in our government (dont get me started) but it's a lot less corrupt and perhaps more trivial than things that go on in other countries. Thats what I am thinking right now. It's still hard for me to say i'm Proud to be an American; it makes me feel strange. But I can say that I am Happy to be an American.

another funny thing that is going on in my life is this: I started working at the Child Development Lab last week. While i was job hunting, I decided that the one thing I wouldnt do is work with food. I have funny issues with mass food production, I cant say that I enjoy working around a kitchen area too much. well, I guess this story goes back to last year. I read "Nickeled and Dimed" which is a book about the working class of America. After reading it, my ideas of the working class/ minimum wage workers totally changed. I actually really wanted a minimum wage job to work with other people who had that as their full time job just to see what they were like and get to know about it. (If you've read the book, you know that that's basically what the author does) Anyway, I even considered getting over my food issues and working at McDonalds on Neil. Well, I didnt, but it was a thought last year. I remember telling Lindsay and Joey about it---i'm pretty sure they just laughed at me.
Anyway, flash forward to today--i'm working at the child development lab now. (it sounds creepier than it is; contrary to popular belief, we do not probe at toddlers with metal tongs... it's basically a preschool/daycare for faculty) I am really excited, working with kids and all. It will definitely be good job experience for my major and such. Funny thing is: they put me in the kitchen for one of my two shifts during the week. So I'm not seeing any kids, but I'm busy cleaning dishes, preparing food, and working with a very interesting gal. Angela is probably a few years older than me, and the first day I asked her what her major was, but I then find out that she lives in Tuscola (3o min away?) and has 2 children. This job is her full-time job, in addition to a part time job that she has at Gap. She's working two jobs for minimum wage to support her two kids. I'm working a few hours a week to boost my resume--the money means almost nothing to me. She's a character, and I'm enjoying talking to her and getting to know her better (most of the time). God works in funny ways. I thought I'd have this great job with children, and I end up with this job with food that I said I wanted to experienc last year.... the minimum wage McDonalds-esque career for me. It should be an adventure.

I like it when people call me rachie. Not everyone can get away with it, but the people that can are the ones I love dearly; they know who they are.

And God saw that it was good.

2006-09-06T23:43:00.000-07:00

I really like this one of me and Andrea. It's on our door. Come visit.

I just got back from a midnight bike ride to the south farms and corporate buildings. I just felt like riding and thinking and letting all these different things that I'm learning just soak in. I think I need that a lot, just to sit and think of all these different things.

In class today, we discussed how the earth was created--and how it's wrong to completely disregard science, but there needs to be a balance of both science and religion. I am still shaping a lot of my opinions on these various things. I love learning more about it, and I think it's really important not to be completely ignorant and disregard anything other than the Bible---yet I think it's important to consider what the Bible offers as well. So, I'll throw out some terms that I learned today in class... I consider the creation story to be essentially literal, but not completely literal. Specifically, I believe in progressive creationism, meaning that God created lifeforms and allows them to develop/change/evolve. Also, that the 7 days may not have been seven 24-hr days. But, at the same time, I don't doubt that God could do that. He could.

On my bike ride tonight, I stopped and sat for a while and just thought about everything. It's overwhelming and crazy to wrap my mind around it all, but I love it. I looked up at the moon and stars and knew that they were created perfectly. I mean, there is such an art to everything around us---how could it have come from nothing?

green means go

2006-09-04T20:47:00.000-07:00

I hate to be one of those people that doesn't follow through with what they say....someone who's always making plans and never doing them. I am really bothered by that situation. So, I'm feeling real uncomfortable right now about deciding whether or not to take a year off next year. I am torn between the two and it's really hard to know what to do... I've been telling people about it, trying to get myself mentally prepared to make the commitment to go, and now I'm having doubts. I think it would be an amazing opportunity to learn and grow and serve. I would love to go work in an orphanage in South America or something. It would just be amazing. I know I have a heart for other countries and I want that experience sometime in my life. But, at the same time, I've just been filled with these doubts. It's always been hard for me to disern what God is telling me and what I'm desiring myself. I really feel like I need to stay here at U of I. It's bad to be inconsistant and leaving for a year could really change a lot of things, relationships, etc. I have so many awesome opportunites here, and I feel like I am really called to be here at school. So, I'm really unsure about it all, and I'm open to suggestions and asking for some prayer. The decision will come up soon because i'll have to apply to be an RA soon. craziness.

boozin and guys&dolls

2006-09-02T14:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got 2 letters from the U of I in the mail. The first one was a surprising... It said "As a result of an incident in Taft-VanDoren Hall on August 26 you have been charged with a violation of the Hallmarks Handbook. Specifically, you are charged with violating the Alcohol Policy." It went on about how i had to meet with the RD and all this stuff. I'm reading it, thinking wait I havent even been in Taft or VanDoren this year, and I wasn't drinking either. So, confused I opened the next one that said I'd recieved an "inaccurate judicial charge letter" whatever that means. I guess I was wrongly accused, or someone used my name. It was really funny, though, and I might put the letter up on my door.
Something I was thinking about lately is guy/girl relationships and friendships. In my life I've really been blessed with good girl and boy friends. I've always been tight with people and felt like I've had close friends to talk to and open up to. It's interesting how relationships are, though, and I feel like I value my girlfriends a lot more, but I can casually relate to guys well. Anyway, so what I'm trying to think about is whether close guy friends are even that great to have, because it seems like its never going to be the same when we get older because everything changes with fiances and wives or husbands. So, I think my conclusion is that I'm not really thinking about marriage and stuff until I'm out of college anyway, so I dont think it really matters too much. But... a commitment that I want to make this year is to hang out one on one with gals more and really get to know them deeply. It takes a lot of time for me to build really tight friendships, so I'm probably going to have to really try hard at it. I have some great girls that I already know well here, but there are some more that I really want to know well.
Something that bothers me is girls that think they cant have fun unless guys are involved. Come on, for real?
Night football game tonight, I got Block-I tickets from Andrea (whom I love dearly, tickets or not! and i miss you too this weekend, i know you'll read this haha). GO ILLINI.

2006-08-28T19:23:00.000-07:00

I started another blog, because I have to keep a record of what I'm learning in Old Testament this semester... it's called http://oldtestament-newthoughts.blogspot.com/
I'll still be writing on here with other stuff that's unrelated to the class.

holler

2006-08-26T14:44:00.000-07:00

i'm not sure what i'm going to do with my life, but i know i want it to be more than just living and dying. i want to get out of this rut that everyone gets stuck in where they have to make money to survive and then they have to repaint their livingroom to match the new couch, or get all this new stuff. i think i want to be a missionary, but do something big. i was talking to a friend about how if you major in business then you could go to another country and start up a company or something (sort of like sweatshop, but totally fair wage and good working conditions) so that people wouldnt have to turn to drugs or prostitution to make a living. like india, where there are so many brothels, i heard that there was this couple that went over there and started a company where the women make jewelry to sell here in America, and it's saved so many of the women from having to resort to selling their bodies. anyway, so i've always thought that business was stupid, and too competitive and totally not me--but i see this awesome side to it now. i'm not switching majors, but it's cool to think about.
what i really want to do after college is teach in inner city chicago. i'm excited because i have to read this book "holler if you hear me" for one of my classes. it's written by a man who taught jr. highers in the chicago inner city. anyway, i just started reading it today, but i think i'm going to love it already. check out this quotation from it:

"The kids whose lives and words grace these pages, like all of the kids I've taught, are much more than mere "at-risk" youth, more than simple products of a "volatile" neighborhood or a "chaotic" school system. They are bright, beautiful, fragile, flawed, courageous, and incredibly resilient young people--kids whose voices ring with passion and genius, frustration and regret, rage and pain, and--most of all--hope and possibility. They are are kids who are too often shouted down or ignored. They have a lot to say. Holler if you hear."

wow, i want to be a part of that. i cant wait to read this book. interesting that it's a book for what i've heard is the most boring class ever.

'cool'

2006-08-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

what is life about for so many of us? so much of it depends on what other people think, what is 'cool.' almost every decision i make, from what to wear, or eat, or who to be friends with is influenced by someone else. if someone told me that my outfit was ridiculous, i would definitely think again before i wore it out, wheras if someone complimented me i would be happy and feel confident about it. the opinions of others matter so much to me, to everyone. it's so sad that i have to find worth in other people, i have to define ourselves by that. i look to other people and material possessions to complete me, to make me feel complete and worthy and satisfied. and it never works. so, i try to make myself feel better by comparing myself to others or buying things, and maybe it helps for an hour or so, but i still end up feeling so empty. this is where letting Christ satisfy and complete me comes in. apart from him, i'm seriously nothing... but with him, i can find so much more satisfaction, happiness and worth than i could from any relationship or material possession. i need to be reminded about that more. everyone does.

“There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus” --Blake Pascal

that pretty much sums it up.
tonight i took some time for myself. andrea put up these christmas lights in the room so we could turn off the overhead lights and i read and relaxed. i need that time to just recoop and get focused. i turned off the cell phone, and internet, turned on the braveheart sountrack and spent some quality time by myself. i really enjoyed it, i need to do that more. i just read and journalled and thought, and it was great.
last thought of the night. i am so happy that two of my best friends, andrea and rachel g, have found wonderful guys. seriously, johnmark and nate are some of the greatest guys and i'm so happy to know them and to see that they are dating amazing women that mean so much to me. it's funny to think about how comfortable i feel around johnmark and nate, and i think it's because in a way i just know that andrea and rg know me so well, so the guys know me well in some roundabout way. and i can just be myself, no pressure. i love my friends. i miss rachel.

individual

2006-08-21T14:23:00.000-07:00

we're off and away onto a new year! i've been doing all this recruitment type stuff for intervarsity, and i have mixed feelings about it. i mean, half of me really wants to get the word out and have people know about it, but i also hate being too pushy and use cliches and stuff. i mean, it's totally not what we're about, but it's hard to tell people what we are about in a few sentances as they walk by... and its not about numbers at all, it's really about the people and i wish i could just voice how much i care for them individually. that's one of the hardest things as freshmen...not feeling like people care about you at all. you start to just fall into this group, and no one sees you as an individual any more. thats what i want to do, though, treat people as the awesome individuals that they are.
i miss my mom a lot. i do a pretty crappy job of keeping up with people once i leave, but i'm going to try a lot harder from now on!

orange

2006-08-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

today was great being an i-guide. seriously, i think it just reminded me how much i love people and getting to know them. i really understand the freshmen and what they are going through. i want to be an RA really badly now, so i'm excited about it! i need to talk to my RD about taking my year off though. wow, even though it was hard work and tiring, today was really fun. there are so many awesome people out there to meet and get to know. i never should be afraid to talk to people and be approachable. i dont want to hold myself back, its so unnatural. this year is going to rock. go illini!

look at the stars and how they shine for you

2006-08-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

i'm back. i love it. i'm feeling so excited in my heart to be here, and i know that it's where i'm meant to be. the room's still a mess and i'm tired but oh so happy. i got to see lindsay and jaimie tonight, which was stellar. i love seeing those girls.
as i was walking home tonight, i was looking up at the stars and just thinking about life. i love seeing the stars and being reminded of something that is so much greater and bigger than i am.
When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

psalm 8:3-4

He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.

psalm 147:4-5

Praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD from the heavens,
praise him in the heights above.
2 Praise him, all his angels,
praise him, all his heavenly hosts.
3 Praise him, sun and moon,
praise him, all you shining stars.
4 Praise him, you highest heavens
and you waters above the skies.
5 Let them praise the name of the LORD,
for he commanded and they were created.
6 He set them in place for ever and ever;
he gave a decree that will never pass away.
7 Praise the LORD from the earth,
you great sea creatures and all ocean depths,
8 lightning and hail, snow and clouds,
stormy winds that do his bidding
9 you mountains and all hills,
fruit trees and all cedars,
10 wild animals and all cattle,
small creatures and flying birds,
11 kings of the earth and all nations,
you princes and all rulers on earth,
12 young men and maidens,
old men and children.
13 Let them praise the name of the LORD,
for his name alone is exalted;
his splendor is above the earth and the heavens.

psalm 148

God is great.

real community

2006-08-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

i think i want to live in a commune, or like a community house or something. not a sorority, but more like something when i'm grown up and we all work and share everything. like in acts, where they depend so much on eachother and provide for everyone's different needs. tonight i made omlets with some of my favorite people and it was fun just doing everyday stuff like cooking together. i guess thats why i love college, too. you just are always in this community. also, thats what family is. i've enjoyed spending time with my family a lot. i'm glad that they love me so unconditionally, but it can be dangerous because in the past i think i've taken advantage of it... just figuring they will always be there, so it doesnt matter how much time i spend with them. but, i'm excited to be past that and i love being with them. another thought on community: i think to create that, i need to learn to be so much less selfish and really generous with my time and money and belongings. i need to always be looking at how i can put others before me. when people see that in a community, they will desire that community. thats what my small group is going to look like.

true

2006-08-10T10:54:00.000-07:00

Today I was thinking about different qualities that I really appreciate about people. I love people who are themselves no matter what. They dont pretend to be too good for something or too mature for it or too smart for it. Like someone who can have fun listening to ridiculous stuff like LFO or coloring with little kids. It seems like so many people just base what they like to listen to, wear, etc on what other people are doing. It's like we're taught to just go with the flow and dont think for yourself. I think so much of the time people care about what other people think of them that they dont even act like themselves. I know I've done it. Anyway, so i love the people who arent like that. People who will just be themselves, even if i think they're crazy for it because in the end it just makes me love them more.
Another quality I love is being able to be apart and not even talking much, but coming back together after breaks or college or something and just getting really deep with eachother. I struggle a lot with maintaining those superficial friendships that never get deep because i dont see purpose in them. But then again, you have to have that before you can get deep with someone. I think everyone is able to be thoughtful and have meaningful conversation and relationships, they just are scared to let people see what they really are like on the inside because they think people wont like them for who they really are. Some people love going out and always doing things with people... playing games, going to parties or movies or something, but there is nothing I love more than just talking with someone one on one or in a smaller group and really getting to know people.
I really love all the different people in my life and what they teach me every day. I'm a big fan of being with people. I love people.

verano

2006-08-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

i'm getting really excited for school, but at the same time i'll definitely miss the stuff that goes on around here. the older i get, the cooler my family gets. i want to hang out with them a lot more. i miss the friends from around here because of the depth of our relationships...knowing eachother for so many years and just understanding certain things. not that i dont have good friendships at school, but it takes more time to have that depth of relationship. its always a hard adjustment for the first few weeks coming home or going back. i've gotten comfortable being here.
but as i learn all the time, comfortable isnt always good.
i think i've changed a lot in the last year. i cant say what changed me or how i have changed, but i have. i've thought a lot about my future. there's nothing that i'd like to do more than serve God with my life. i'm excited to see where He leads me.
"I dont know of a better, sweeter life than an unbroken conversation with God, a life of unlimited free minutes with Him. Only those who are living this kind of life know what I mean. But don't just do it because it's sweet. Dont look for the pleasure pay off. It's best to pusue this relationship because we love Him and because it's God's will for us. Listen! Make a solid commitment right now never to let God slip from first place in your thoughts. Resolve to spend the resot of your live with him---even if it means giving up some of what you think are life's fringe benefits. God has even better ideas. So get serious about following Him; if you do, you'll see serious results" - Practicing God's Presence

good old clive

2006-07-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

i was reading some of clive staples (what a great name) lewis's mere christianity today. i liked what he was saying about free will--"free will, although it makes evil possible, is also the only thing that makes possibble any lov eor goodness or joy worth having." Then he talked about how God made us to be strong and clever and free, and because of that we can be really good or really evil. If he did not make us so strong and clever and free, we could not be as good (or evil)---we'd be like animals. Yet, very intelligent and influential people have the most power to be really good or really evil.
then he said something that does so much to explain the state our world is in: "What satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea thta they could 'be like gods'--be their own masters--invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And ouf of that hopeless attempt has come nearlyu all that we call human history--money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slaver--the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy. " word.
i got a hand written old fashioned letter from joey yesterday. it was awesome to hear from him and all thats going on in the UP. there's just something so special about getting a letter in the mail. i'm going to write more letters. i bet a lot of people dont get hand written stuff anymore.

snowboard bindings

2006-07-24T16:34:00.000-07:00

i was really enjoying life today. i got to roll down a hill, teach somersaults, and play outside. i also spent almost an hour looking at bindings for my snowboard. first of all, it's summer. second, my other bindings are ok, so i dont desparately need new ones. but i sat and looked online for a long time. on my way home from work i stopped by monica's house. she hasnt been answering my calls (not unusual) and i thought i'd just go say hi. so i went over and she wasnt there but i talked with her grandma. her mom is really sick from the cancer now, and has been in the hospital for a while. her grandma's also really sick and i got to talk to her for a bit. things like that really just bring me back to reality. why would i care about a stupid snowboard when people i know are hurting so much. it hurts to think about it. life is so strange in that way, that people are dying and my mom is worried about what color to paint the kitchen and i'm shopping for snowboard bindings in the summer.

what i learned this weekend

2006-07-22T15:17:00.000-07:00

dont decide to dye someone's hair after 12pm. you're probably not thinking straight. and red hair isnt for everyone. haha, but the good thing is it will be gone from dave's head in 8 washes. for now its emo dave.
kick boxing can be pretty hard, especially on 5 hours of sleep.
my mom is probably the hardest working person i know, she's awesome.
i own way too many things.

beth

2006-07-21T18:14:00.000-07:00

so i just decided that my sister is way too cool to ever date someone. well, lets just say if she does he better be an awesome guy that will travel with her around the world and be a missionary and all that stuff. i just feel like so many people put pressure on people after they are like 24ish to get married. it's good for some people, but it's not for everyone. i think my sister is really feeling pressure that she has to be dating someone because its what people expect. it's an awesome thing to be free because you can be used in different ways (not necessarily BETTER, but different). i know some pretty cool single people that are living really meaningful and serving lives. i know more than a few married folks too, (and a really awesome engaged couple!) but i think people need to see that its not for everyone or at least not for everyone so young. it's so easy to try to find satisfaction in relationships, but theres another area of life that needs to be satisfied first.

i love my bike

2006-07-19T15:15:00.000-07:00

here's me and rachel pre-bike expedition. whoo!

yes, i did it

2006-07-19T14:56:00.000-07:00

so here we go
i guess i hated on blogs for a bit too long. i'm going to give it a shot and see how it rolls. i mean, if katie shasteen can dedicate a blog to me, i guess i should have one? i think it will take me a bit getting used to. who knows, it might be pretty fun. i'll enjoy the freedom of it. i'm not too sure anyone will read it either. =)